3 months nc...have to see her everyday and now she started talking to me

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Well... .some people here might now my history... .and i can say to a lot of people that i understand the pain... .but i can asure you all... .it gets better... .i can't even measure how better i am in comparison to january... .

well, the fact is... .things are ok in my mind... .and im ok with how things are, i have to see her everyday since we take the same classes at university. But now she is starting to try to talk to me and ask me things that she could ask anyone else... .like "could u lend me some article so i can copy it?" everybody at the class has the article... .and people told me she had it already... but she had to came and interrupt a talk that i was having with another woman and started asking me this... .

what i want to know is... .should i expect things to settle? or she will continue to try me and make some small take about dogs out of nowhere?

after all i read here, i can say im just watching her behavior and sometimes just wondering if she thinks we could ever be friends... .well thanks

[noideaforname]

Well... .some people here might now my history... .and i can say to a lot of people that i understand the pain... .but i can asure you all... .it gets better... .i can't even measure how better i am in comparison to january... .

well, the fact is... .things are ok in my mind... .and im ok with how things are, i have to see her everyday since we take the same classes at university. But now she is starting to try to talk to me and ask me things that she could ask anyone else... .like "could u lend me some article so i can copy it?" everybody at the class has the article... .and people told me she had it already... but she had to came and interrupt a talk that i was having with another woman and started asking me this... .

what i want to know is... .should i expect things to settle? or she will continue to try me and make some small take about dogs out of nowhere?

after all i read here, i can say im just watching her behavior and sometimes just wondering if she thinks we could ever be friends... .well thanks

[roberto516]

ihavenoidea,

I remember your story. I remember your extreme anxiety and hopelessness about having to go back to school and see her (if I remember right?) This gives me so much hope for myself that you are doing so much better. I don't even have to see her. Maybe her name will pop up here and there since we work for the same company but that's it.

I don't have advice or feedback right now. But I wanted to say that you are giving me a real boost tonight with your post. So thank you!

[noideaforname]

ihavenoidea,

I remember your story. I remember your extreme anxiety and hopelessness about having to go back to school and see her (if I remember right?) This gives me so much hope for myself that you are doing so much better. I don't even have to see her. Maybe her name will pop up here and there since we work for the same company but that's it.

I don't have advice or feedback right now. But I wanted to say that you are giving me a real boost tonight with your post. So thank you!

It feels good to help you in any way i can... .it wasn't easy... .i couldn't even come here at this board because it would make me think of her... .and the first three weeks of university i thought about quitting or changing classes everyday.
but i saw a good side on having to see her everyday... .she reminds me now with her acts... .why we couldn't be together... .
I discovered that her new boyfriend was some guy she started talking while she was with me... and know she is with him and messaging me out of the blue with a pattern of 8 days... .its the third time she talks to me... .always with 8 day pauses... .always with subjects that i can't make sense... .today she grabbed a book and yelled at me... .but, its sad to say, i was able to laugh because i see no point in trying to understand her anymore... .
she is some sort of different person and i hope she finds peace... .and i hope things settle... because we will see each other for more 4 years... .

[Rayban]

You have the right mind frame.  Let her live her life and be happy, but more importantly, you do what's best for you. If you know you can't have a healthy relationship with her, then dont give her any reason to believe that you are still interested or she will not stop until she has you.  This is a challenge and potential ego boost if she gets you back in.

Look up the grey rock method for when you are forced to have LC with an ex.

The other thing to consider is that BPD is an attachment disorder, and the thing they hate the most is losing an attachment.  That's my take on her talking to you.  Stay strong and reep the rewards of doing what's right for you.

[noideaforname]

Let me try to understand this... .

we were NC for about 2 months... .one of those months i was already seeing her everyday but was living like she wasn't there.

so every time she talks to me about trivial things she feels like we still have some connection?
or its like a challenge to her to see if she can make me respond?

She talks to me about somethings out of the blue and them she just walks away... .i just don't get it... .because from my part i dont want to be rude and just walk or turn my face when she talks to me... .but its starting to get to me since sometimes she talks about our past and just snap another subject that has nothing to do with it... .

what is the best way to respond? i feel like if i answer her politely she concludes that i care too much still for her... .
but from what she used to tell me about her other r/s, i know that if i were to be rude she would conclude the same "he still likes me so much he can't even stand talking to me"

should i just avoid her?

[once removed]

hi noideaforaname,

its difficult to say whats in her head, though her contact sounds innocuous.

how do you feel about the contact and her? i think the answer as to how to handle it depends on that.

[noideaforname]

hi noideaforaname,

its difficult to say whats in her head, though her contact sounds innocuous.

how do you feel about the contact and her? i think the answer as to how to handle it depends on that.

thanks for trying to help.

well, i feel strange... .its a mix of things...
she talks to me like we never had anything... .the first month seeing her and with NC active was a pain... .and i felt like i couldn't handle... .

she started talking to me and talked about a lot of trivial things... but in between those talks... .sometimes she says things about her memories of some funny situation we had... .and immediately cuts the subject and start talking about some food for example... .

i just don't how to act because somethings she says... brings back some good times... .good memories... .and i know she wants a reaction... .but most of the time im not expressing any because im shocked so i just stand still and respond.