In the midst of a separation

[ChristieRocNY]

My fiancé has been in a downward spiral for months, calling off our wedding in February and now saying he wants us to go our separate ways. He was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but it is all to clear to me now that he has BPD. This fact was brought to my attention by a good friend who works in mental health. I too, ironically, am a Social Worker... .and when it was suggested to me that it may be BPD a giant light clicked on... .now I'm just trying to figure out how to navigate all of this... .keeping my head on track, between what I know as a mental health professional and allowing myself to experience this as the person I truly am... .with a man I truly love.

[Peace41]

I am sorry for what you are going through. Your education  probably is not helping with the pain you feel in your heart. For better or worse is something you can choose at this point - not easy - but you can make an informed decision about how you move forward. I wish you the best.

[AlternateReality]

My fiancé has been in a downward spiral for months, calling off our wedding in February and now saying he wants us to go our separate ways.

I think this is a lot more common then we hear about.  Big stressful life events can lead to a splitting black.  In my situation my exBPD got pregnant which caused her to permanently paint me black for No apparent reason i can come up with... .Not even an argument... Went from white to black with me not triggering her.

I am sorry as i think these situations are the toughest to digest.

[heartandwhole]

Hi ChristieRocNY,

I'm sorry to hear of the breakdown of your marriage. That is so difficult to go through.   There definitely are ways to navigate this while keeping your head on track. As you know, it takes effort and lots of compassion—for yourself as much as for pwBPD.

What do you think triggered the downward spiral?

Keep writing, it really helps. You've found a community that understands.

heartandwhole

[DaddyBear77]

Hello ChristieRocNY and welcome to the bpdfamily!  

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Many of us can relate, and it does sound like you've been painted black. That is really hard.

You still refer to this person as your "fiancé" - have you made a decision on what direction you would like to proceed? You posted first on the detaching board, but it sounds from your initial post you may still be trying to decide on a direction.

Please share more of your story and keep posting. We are here to help you find your own path and support you in making the best decision for you.

DaddyBear77