ex wife with BPD

[BILOS]

My wife underwent a big change in 2012. All felt like a tornado. She met a kind of spiriual guru and just, to put it shorty, changed husbands. We divorced in october, and before the year ended she married again. One weird part was that from the begining of her change she started to act cruelly, with animosity. The behavior that could almost be understood if I had run away with another woman and left her (projection is a big thing with her). We had a 9 year old daugher, who stayed with me. Later, my ex wife induced in our daughter a Parenthal Alienation Syndrome. For almost a year, my daughter refused to see me or talk  to me. Then things went back to normal. The mother got tired or something and sent the girl back to me. The mother has been irrational and weird in so many ways. But then I did some reading. I read "Stop walking on eggshels", two books on PAS by Richard Gardner. I'm halfway now through "Understanding the Borderline Mother". So I understand now so many things. The thing that I miss, however, is share my experience with others, hear other people, for what I have lived and what I have read and learned, I cannot share with my family and friends, since they don't know anything about personality disorders and therefore they don't understand. That's my presentation. As brief as I could manage.

[david]

Welcome. I tried talking to some of my friends about it in the beginning and one in particular distanced himself. A few months later he contacted me to go out for lunch. At lunch, he apologized for distancing himself. He couldn't believe the stories I was telling and figured it was me with the problem. It just so happens that his dentist recently divorced his BPD wife and his stories were just like mine. He realized at that time that I was telling the truth.

[flourdust]

Welcome! Co-parenting with a pwBPD can be very challenging, and it's especially difficult to see the effects on the children caught in the middle.

What sort of issues are you dealing with today? How is your daughter doing?

[BILOS]

My daughter is doing very well. She lives with me. We get along very well. She gets good grades, has a healthy sense of humour, enjoys reading... .Her mother barely sees her. And a few months ago she even moved to another country. So, fortunately, the mother got tired of her trouble making attitude. She does not pay alimony, of course (I cannot help thinking how the situation would be were the gender roles reversed). It's okay. My only concern is to be a good parent, and to help my daughter in the future, whenever she asks questions.

[flourdust]

I'm pleased to hear she's doing well! What can we help you with?

[BILOS]

At this point, in which I have gone through the experience, and I have read books about it, I don't need help. I just thought it could be useful to "get together" with other people who had undergone these type of things, share views. That sort of thing.