Daughter With BPD, How To Set Limits?

[Denny5353]

Hi,
This is my first time on the site.  I have a daughter with BPD.  I'd like assistance in starting the conversation about setting limits with her.  She can be verbally abusive, critical, blaming, etc and I expect this to occur when setting limits.  She visits monthly from another city and creates chaos when she comes.  It has been a week since we've spoken as she left last week in a huff.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hi there Denny5353

Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you found us but sorry to learn about your daughter and troubles. BPD is not only exhausting but devastating to families.

If you haven't read up about BPD then I encourage you to do so - Start Here at the top right hand of this page. The more I learned the less I reacted and this helps my DS to remain calmer. I've learnt a more effective way of interacting with him on this forum, its saved my family. I have a better relationship with him now, despite the problems.

You can't change your daughter but you can change how you react and as you've said introduce boundaries and limits for yourself using techniques that will help you.

How old is your daughter?

What kind of things is your daughter objecting to?

LP