how to stay healthy

[eta72]

hi, i have a new partner since 1 year. when we got together, he changed his lifestyle and stopped drinking. soon after he started to show the symptoms of what I recognize today as BPD symptoms: irrational anger outbursts with jelaus accusations, and emotional torture that could last for hours or until my nervous breakdown. he is in therapy since last autumn and he is also taking antidepressants. the outbursts are less intense, however they still happen approximately once per week. in the meantime i have developped a serious sleeping disorder which also led to other health problems and diffcult concentration at work. I have also started censoring my words and behaviours in advance not to cause conflict and I took the role of the adult person in the couple who understands him and brings him calm. I feel suffocated and I feel as if my freedom was taken away from me. when in his normal state, my partner is loving, cooperative and recognizes his problem. do not want to lose him, i see the signs of improovement, however I do not wish to lose myself in the process either. what are your experiences or reccomendations? i have read the book Stop walking on eggshels but I really need some exchange with people in simmilar situation. thank you!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Welcome to the boards eta. Your situation sounds very familiar and many on this board are going through the same. We have a lot of lessons the right side of the board that are very helpful in learning how to live better with someone with BPD. It's full on info on how to communicate better, how to take care of yourself, and other general info on the dynamics in a BPD relationship. Looking forward to getting to learn more about you.