I found out he wasn't lying

[insideoutside]

Hi guys

I'm 11 weeks in to NC with my friend after falling out with him backing out to meet up after pulling the same stunt numerous times.  His excuse was that he had secured an acting job and would be filming the weekend we were due to meet.  Of course I thought here we go again and that he was using it as an excuse not to meet up.  I've now found out he did actually get a part for a film and I feel terrible for not believing him and losing my temper.  The problem is he has cried wolf so many times before so naturally I didn't believe him when he said he couldn't meet up again, but it appears he was actually genuine.

God damn it.  I'm so angry with myself for not believing him and letting my own insecurities and temper get the better of me and ended up ruining our friendship.

[Mutt]

Hi insideoutside,

 It sounds like you had pent up feels, nobody's perfect, there are times that I wish I had kept it together. Don't put this all on your back, you're in NC with a friend, there's probably a good reason why you're in NC, there are two sides to the friendship, yours and your friends side.

[heartandwhole]

Hi insideoutside,

I can understand your feelings, and in your shoes, I'd be beating myself up about it, too. I do agree with  Mutt, however, that there was a good reason that you didn't believe your friend, after he had made up excuses so many times before. Try to be gentle with yourself; a part of you just wanted to protect you and avoid another disappointment.

We've all reacted in ways that could have been better. Communication skills can help a lot. In the heat of the moment, though, sometimes they go by the wayside, too.  You are human and can take responsibility and apologize if you feel your reaction was hurtful toward your friend.

Have you talked to him since?

heartandwhole