Painted Black...

[CorsaG19]

Well... .its finally happened. Im now painted black. Im usually the type of person to feel agitated if i know someone is bad mouthing me or even doesnt like me, however in this instance its just what i need!

Currently 6 weeks split and 4 days NC... .should be around 20 days NC but every 5 days she finds a way to get in touch only for me to tell her to do one pretty much

Today i received a 'nice' email telling me im bitter and twisted and moving out of my house and getting with her new gf is the best thing shes ever done. At first i felt agitated that she had contacted again and called ME bitter and twisted... .but im just relieved im free of it all. I no longer have that gut wrenching feeling ive had for the last 6 months

I dont care if shes telling others about her bitter and twisted ex girlfriend. We dont have any friends in common and we now live in different cities. I will literally never cross paths with her or her friends and family.

Ive completely blocked her on everything i can (having trouble finding it on email). My phone tells me when its rejected a number thats blocked and its rejecting hers maybe 5/6 times a week. And she can try and rub it in about the new gf all she wants because... .well we all know how thats going to work out!

So yeah... .im bitter and twisted. Or am i finally free and relieved!  

[Mutt]

Hi CorsaG19,

I agree with you to depersonalize the behaviors, become indifferent to them, you neither like it or hate. I just wanted to say that you can still have your feelings about your expwBPD's behaviors. What are you doing for yourself while you're in NC with your ex? Are you spending time with family and friends? Are you taking care of yourself? Do you have hobbies?

[CorsaG19]

Hi Mutt

I have a little girl so spending most of my time with her. She was devastated by the ex leaving so so im taking both our minds off it. Ive also realised what a great bunch of friends i have at work. They've listened to all my problems over the last 6 months and never turned me away. They are being so supportive right now

And ive signed up to go back to college in september when my daughter starts school! Im actually really looking forward to this! So fingers crossed life is looking good right now

But im not going to lie. I still love this girl so much. Im in a good place right now but i know ill have my down days. These down days are usually when shes made contact so as long as i stick to NC they should be few and far between!

The support on here helps so much. To have people to talk to who understand and have been through pretty much the same. Put up with the same behaviour. This site is invaluable!