My sister

[Our abuse recovery guide]

So basically my whole life my sister has treated me like existence is nothing more than a hassle in her like. But as we got older she started to some what change she basically just decided one day that she wanted to be my sister in that all of the people who she felt were her friends she felt were not what she thought they were (probably because they didn't do as she wanted or she couldn't manipulate them to do what she wanted anymore) she has verbally and physically abuse me through out my whole life and is a liar and drug addicted on top of having mental disorders. But I know she lies to her doctors and doesn't tell them how she really is. But I have know that she has had issue her whole life and as a adult I've been searching on he behavior because it's scary and makes everyone in my family in happy because she try's to control all of us in some strange way but it doesn't work and all we do is try to avoid her tantrums it's exhausting we never really had a relationship but now she is so co dependent on me and gets mad at me because I don't provided what she wants to hear or need. It's just come to a point that I fear she will end up hurt or dead because of her behavior. But there is no talking to her because she believes nothing she is doing is wrong and will some how place blame on anyone besides her self for the terrible things she does and her selfish ness it's just been a lot on me because I am very nice and want to be there for my sister but I know she isn't normal and can't function like a normal adult mind you she is older than me around 30 still living with my parents and treats them terrible. They don't know what to do about her either and she try's to control them also but my parents never fully give into her but stil try's to control their lives and money (she isn't employed at the moment) but again my parents support her but she is a scary person just causes so much and I feel like me and my family are all alone and feel also that no matter what she will never grow up . I don't have many people to talk to about her behavior because it's so crazy and scary and she is really good at pretending that we are the crazy ones ...

[Sweetiepie22]

So basically my whole life my sister has treated me like existence is nothing more than a hassle in her like. But as we got older she started to some what change she basically just decided one day that she wanted to be my sister in that all of the people who she felt were her friends she felt were not what she thought they were (probably because they didn't do as she wanted or she couldn't manipulate them to do what she wanted anymore) she has verbally and physically abuse me through out my whole life and is a liar and drug addicted on top of having mental disorders. But I know she lies to her doctors and doesn't tell them how she really is. But I have know that she has had issue her whole life and as a adult I've been searching on he behavior because it's scary and makes everyone in my family in happy because she try's to control all of us in some strange way but it doesn't work and all we do is try to avoid her tantrums it's exhausting we never really had a relationship but now she is so co dependent on me and gets mad at me because I don't provided what she wants to hear or need. It's just come to a point that I fear she will end up hurt or dead because of her behavior. But there is no talking to her because she believes nothing she is doing is wrong and will some how place blame on anyone besides her self for the terrible things she does and her selfish ness it's just been a lot on me because I am very nice and want to be there for my sister but I know she isn't normal and can't function like a normal adult mind you she is older than me around 30 still living with my parents and treats them terrible. They don't know what to do about her either and she try's to control them also but my parents never fully give into her but stil try's to control their lives and money (she isn't employed at the moment) but again my parents support her but she is a scary person just causes so much and I feel like me and my family are all alone and feel also that no matter what she will never grow up . I don't have many people to talk to about her behavior because it's so crazy and scary and she is really good at pretending that we are the crazy ones ...

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hey Sweetiepie22:   

Welcome to the Community!

I'm sorry about the problems you are having with your sister.  I can tell you care about her.  Has she ever been treated for any mental illness (meds or therapy)?  I'm thinking you live on you own (not with your parents)?

It's just come to a point that I fear she will end up hurt or dead because of her behavior. . .she is a scary person

  What behaviors lead you to believe this?  Is she self harming, using drugs or engaging in risky behaviors?

In what way does she scare you?  Do you feel physically threatened by her?  I know that emotional rages can be rather scary.

she is older than me around 30 still living with my parents and treats them terrible. They don't know what to do about her either and she try's to control them also but my parents never fully give into her but stil try's to control their lives and money

The information at the links below about boundaries should be helpful

BOUNDARIES:
Boundaries are for your benefit, and it is up to you to enforce them. Whether you need to set a boundary now or later, best to be prepared:  

BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP

BOUNDARIES ARTICLE

EXAMPLES

FIVE SIGNS OF UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES

You can't change your sister.  She has to want to change and seek help.  What you can do is set boundaries and learn various communication skills to help the way you interact with your sister and then how you react to her.    There is a "lessons" thread at the top of the thread line up.  There is, also, a large green band at the top of the page, with a "Tools Menu".   The lesson on ":)on't invalidate" is a good tool to learn.