Do BPD teens " grow out of " self injurious Behaviour ?

[Yepanotherone]

Just wondering if my daughter will always partake in cutting . Her body is already scarred very badly ( all over , I've just recently noticed she even has scars on her chest !) and I just wonder if this particular type of behavior lessens over time as the BPD teen grows older and into adulthood .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hi Yep

I'm very sorry to hear about the cutting and even more sorry to say that I just don't know the answer to your question.  My DS briefly cut at 15 and then once recently when he was in a crisis.  I can say though that all of his "BPD" behaviours have lessened as he got older.  Not only that, more "mature" positive behaviours have increased since being on this forum so he really is mostly balanced (but not when triggered - which he still finds difficult because he hasn't started therapy yet).

I hope that other parents out there with experience can answer you.

Big hug to you   

LP

[RunningWithScissors]

Both of my stepkids cut, and both have now stopped.  However, I wouldn't use the term 'grow out of it' as that suggests that parents and caregivers can and should just 'wait it out'.  In my case, both kids went to therapy and worked hard on finding better coping mechanisms to deal with and express their struggles.

Just as an aside, my now 19 year old stepdaughter got a tattoo on her arms to overwrite the most serious scars.  Each member of the family contributed a word to the phrase, in their own handwriting, and together it creates a message of hope and strength.  She doesn't hide her scars, for which I'm glad as I consider them to be part of who she is. 

Hope this helps.

[Yepanotherone]

Thankyou for replies my Daughters and I went clothes shopping a couple of nights ago to stock up on holiday clothes for our vacation next month . My BPD DD was of course wearing the shortest of shorts and I saw a number of other young girls looking her up and down and whispering to each other  . At one time my DD would have basked in this attention but I sense a change now . We were in the changing rooms and I watched her watch other girls coming out of their cubicles with little outfits on . My DD decided she didn't want to try on anymore clothes and didn't want to buy anything , and she's definitely been down over the last day or two . I hate to see my girl hurting and I hate to see others looking her up and down like that and forming judgement .
She's definitley working on the cutting impulses , is participating with her therapist , and doesn't cut as often or as severely as she used to . And she also mentioned not too long ago that she will get tattoos to cover them eventually . So I see that change in mindset and I do wonder if it's partly as a result of just naturally maturing a little bit . Because last year she was fully loud and proud , baring fresh deep cuts that were there for all to see , I think she enjoyed the shocked reaction of others too .
I have offered , gently , to buy some scar treatments for her but she won't hear of it .
I had seen some posts on here recently suggesting that their adult BPD's " used to be cutters " so I was just wondering ... .

[wendydarling]

Hi Yep

My experience is similar as RWS explains, 28DD worked hard through DBT it was one of her earlier successes - she's not cut for a year and she no longer hides her scars, it's part of who she is.

It's encouraging you observe a change to your DD's mind set, she's working with her T. What I've learnt is there is much more work happening than I can 'see', it's subtle and it's slow, it's progress.

Again from my personal experience a positive indication is the gradual increase in time between impulsive events/crises occurring.

Small steps ...
WDx