Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
March 28, 2024, 03:48:11 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
> Topic:
I saw a picture of BPD mother who i am 2 years nc. She looks awful...
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: I saw a picture of BPD mother who i am 2 years nc. She looks awful... (Read 350 times)
Infern0
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520
I saw a picture of BPD mother who i am 2 years nc. She looks awful...
«
on:
June 20, 2017, 06:49:49 AM »
As the title said.
I saw a pic on a family members facebook.
She looks like she has aged 10 years. I feel bad.
I went NC as she had no capacity to validate the damage she did to me during childhood, and the situation was untenable. She has tried to break nc a few times.
I have achieved growth during nc but am not the finished article.
Nonetheless that picture made me ver sad
Logged
Notwendy
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 10440
Re: I saw a picture of BPD mother who i am 2 years nc. She looks awful...
«
Reply #1 on:
June 20, 2017, 02:41:29 PM »
Hi Inferno-
Good to see you over hear from the relationship board. Our FOO's influence our choices of partners and our interactions with them. Dealing with our FOO's can help us in our relationships too ( and vice versa).
It's OK to feel sad. We feel what we feel and whether we are NC or not doesn't change that. We go NC for our own sanity if we choose to. We can't fix our BPD mothers, but that doesn't stop us from feeling sad or wanting to be able too.
My mother is a widow, and I feel sad for her situation. It isn't what I wanted for my mother. It isn't the way I wished it could be. I imagined playing a larger role in my aging parents' lives. I wanted to. But when I tried, I realized that the way I wished things could be was not the way it was. It wasn't going to be Norman Rockwell like dinners with grandma at the table and smiling people enjoying a Thanksgiving meal. It was raging, verbal abuse, drama, any time we ( her kids tried to help her) and her telling us how sad and alone she was when we'd had enough of her behavior and stayed away.
Life with mother as a younger woman wasn't Norman Rockwell and grandma isn't going to be different from who she is. What has changed is that she isn't strong an independent, she is a dependent and elderly woman who is mostly alone. That makes me sad. It's sad because no matter what, she is still my mother. But I had to make my sanity and mental health a priority and not feel responsible for her choices.
So, be sad, if you are sad. It actually is sad to see a picture like that. But that doesn't mean you need to step in and change or fix it.
Logged
Fie
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 803
Re: I saw a picture of BPD mother who i am 2 years nc. She looks awful...
«
Reply #2 on:
June 20, 2017, 03:25:59 PM »
Hello
I relate.
I was NC with my BPD grandma for over a year. She initiated and sustained the NC but recently I thought I'd give it a try and I visited her. She did not seem happy to see me though.
She looked so old and fragile. It shocked me. I want to be there for her and protect her in some way, but it seems she's not really interested.
xx
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
> Topic:
I saw a picture of BPD mother who i am 2 years nc. She looks awful...
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...