I am 51 years old and it is clear my mother has BPD as well as other disorders of the mind. After reading the items on this website I understand there is peace ahead, but when.
I need some help breaking through - not loathing myself, seeing the truth, accepting reality and then living with it. I need help.
SonofBPD2017!
Nibbler posted some excellent links above. I'm sure you will find them useful.
I think many of us have been where you're at. I'm still new but here's what helped me so far:
(1) Realizing that my parents are mentally ill
(2) Admitting that I can't change them
(3) Seeing that nothing of how they act or what they say is my fault
(4) Detaching with love
(5) Accepting how they act and behave as in knowing that no matter what I do or say won't change them
(6) Setting boundaries repeatedly with them
(7) Not trusting when they suddenly act "nice" or "normal", because that's usually done out of manipulation to reel me back into their circus
(8) Read through the Lessons and Survivor's Guide here --->
(9) Talk things out with a therapist
(10) Try not to listen to the messages in your head that say to hate yourself. Tell yourself those are lies put there by mentally ill people
(11) Realize you have nothing to feel guilty about by setting boundaries or limiting contact. You are doing it for your peace of mind and survival.
(12) Seeing the truth sometimes takes time, so be patient with yourself. Trust your gut. And whatever the truth is, don't lose yourself in the emotions and feelings of it. Just accept it as fact. But at the same time, allow yourself to heal.
