I am not sure what to do? Broken? Given up? Lost?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Is there a way to modify old posts... .me being paranoid... .would like to delete some of it... .just in case it can be searched on google... .

[Triedmybest408]

Is there a way to modify old posts... .me being paranoid... .would like to delete some of it... .just in case it can be searched on google... .

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Triedmybest408]

Gumiho or others,

so what are somethings you do post rage. I am really walking on a minefield i feel like more than ever. and I am hypersensitive to triggering her. for example during our fight she made a plan to visit her parents 8 hours away without telling me (she told me when we made up). We were talking about what we should make for dinner last night before the gym (we were making a lot, pizza and cooking meats for the next couple days) and I realized i said maybe we should save that dish (she wanted to try making a new dish to try) for when she gets back because she is leaving (we will have enough food). I felt like this triggered her because she reacted to ... .why would you say that? I am not leaving tomorrow? I leave Monday... .is it cause you want me to leave? I apologized and let her know that I meant we have enough food to last us till she gets back.
*there was a strange pause* This triggered me as well and we went to gym and I think we both brushed it off.

right now i find myself still getting over our past fight, but find myself spacing out from all the stress, especially driving.

This is becoming obvious to my gf and she asks if I am ok... .and if I am still here?... I brush it off and say I am fine and just tired... .(I am actually scared to say the wrong thing?). When we cooked last night with all the noises I couldn't hear what she was saying, and she asked again "ARE YOU OKKKKKKKK?" again I just said I couldn't hear her.

Do i tell her the truth that I am still "recovering" over our fight or is that a bad idea in that it may trigger her into something like "why is it bugging you? if its nothing? is there something you need to tell me? is there something you are hiding still that's making you feel this way?" then I would end up JADEing about how she made me feel, then i feel like we might go in a circle again? She will probably feed off me still feeling a certain way about our past fight and it will fuel her?

its best to sweep it under the rug and try to continue on and not let it get to me? or show her that she got a reaction from our last blow up?

[Gumiho]

Is there a way to modify old posts... .me being paranoid... .would like to delete some of it... .just in case it can be searched on google... .

You could try asking a moderator on the Help Desk + Knowledge board, I don't know what they are willing to do or what not.

... .Do i tell her the truth... .

In my case most often this would be the best option, gf always honored my honesty.
However you seem to be walking on eggshells understandably, I'd refrain from using JADE/accusative words, "bugging", hiding", "circle again" (negative expressions) are a no-go... .I'd go by something like "aw seahorsey, how did you know? (laugh) ... I (just) don't want the stuff to spoil, you know, because I wanna eat it with you and not alone" (even "just" has been a triggerword to hypersensitive hippocampus ). (bear hug) "I'm not fighting with scary seafood". ... she'd just laugh it off

In other words, sweep it under the rug... .save it for a good moment... -.-;

[Triedmybest408]

Thanks! 

today I feel bit better!

we party friday and saturday... .might be back here sunday   hopefully not

[Triedmybest408]

Thanks! 

today I feel bit better!

we party friday and saturday... .might be back here sunday   hopefully not

Question for you guys... .how do you deal with past history past accusations that come back up when a huge blowout happens... .do you still validate and do the things You do to let it blow over?

The accusation that I posted about I know will stick with us forever... .while I'm determined to get over with her... .it won't go away, but the problem is everything is not true but I can see why she thinks something happened

All I can do is be me and try not to give her reasons to question me, but I know it will come back again

[Triedmybest408]

Update: We ended up going to a bar with dancers. had our fun . she got her own lap dance  .

It was weird in the beginning she did ask me to compare to mexico, I told her the one we were at now was way crazier then the one i went to (this one was packed! and maybe twice the girls). She did ask me again if I did anything in mexico i kindly told her I didn't and I told her the way I am acting now is how I acted in mexico (i literally sat and drank). I told her that I wouldn't do stuff like this cause its not my thing. She said ":)on't worry you are with me now"... .

as the night progressed she observed more of people getting dances... and the more I can tell things might get escalated ... .she kept saying this place is crazy... .I can only imagine Mexico (she thinks mexico is like 100X worse/crazier) I just told her no. She kept saying she was going to get me a lapdance... .i told her no several times. So i told her to buy the birthday boy one. Later on in the night she was talking to my friend (who was with me in mexico) she kept throwing little hints out there "We should get him (me) a lapdance... .since he didn't get one in mexico" ... .my friend said YA! thats right!.

AS the night came to an end... .we all have been drinking... .she went into her normal asking me to "tell her the truth" "set me free" "just tell me". I guess my mistake if this was JADEing, all I could say I have done nothing. Her response was "how come I don't believe you"... All I could say is I dont know but i am telling you the truth.

We ended up going back to our friends house to end the night... .She was drunk and still continuing to ask me for the truth... .At this point some people were noticing (especially my best friend who I have been consoling with about this situation). Me not wanting to start a scene I just said babe nothing happen you can trust me, but it just went in circles and that when I called a cab home because it was becoming more awkward within our group.

I am not sure if this was a good thing or not, but we got home and she fell asleep. We woke up and she acted if nothing happen. She told me while she was in the strip club, she asked my friend if I got a lap dance in Mexico and he told her no (I don't know if it helps her get over it... .probably not). She then retracted to "How did "yourfriend" push me to get a lapdance so hard last night, and he didnt push you in mexico". I just told her that everyone knew where I stood and I asked no one to bug me if they asked me for in mexico. I then told her, they probably wanted one of the girls to get a dance and they chose you (Might be Jadeing, but she was the only girl in the group excited to go)

my best friend finally got to see first hand, He decided next day to group text us... .asking if we were okay because we were both really quiet back at our friends house at the end of the night (he wanted to kind of show that some of them noticed how we were)... but she brushed it off as being drunk... .so did I (at least in the text).

should I have said something about her attacking me with questions throughout the end if night in front of everyone? or I should just keep it brushed under the rug.

We were fine for the rest of the day (doing our couple stuff), obviously I am still thinking about back of my head... Shes on a mini trip visit her parents.

[Triedmybest408]

Need some quick advice... .it's July 4

My friend who was the groom who got married (the bachelor )

And some friends are having a BBQ

I sort of want to go since I am alone today

But i feel like it may be a bad idea? May trigger my gf even though she is 8 hours away... .

Should I go? Or do I continue to walk on egg shells (I'm ok not going but that could be due to FOG?)

[foggydew]

If you want to go, go. You can't build your life around someone else's insecurities. They are going to surface whatever you do. If she needs to, she will find a way to interpret your going and even your not going. So do what you need to do.