Trouble staying the present

[noMEw/outHER777]

I have decided to have a relationship with someone who strughles with BPD. They have been hpnest with me about it and have warned me. I still made this decision after long thoughts and research. I truely love them and want to be supportice and help. They struggle woth getting over my past and they question me on it frequently. This escalates into a crisis and idk what to do? I need help amd more information. During the crisis they hate me and want me to leave for good and lash out. I want to help and be apart of their life. Help me please.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[gotbushels]

Welcome noMEw/outHER777 

It's a difficult decision to figure out if you want to stay with a partner after finding out they have a BPD diagnosis. With a partner, of course you feel love toward them. We may often want to support and help the partner--even when there's less of love involved at a given time.

How does the discussion about your past escalate? You can find support here. It will help if you share a bit more about how the escalation happens.

I hope you find peace.

[noMEw/outHER777]

It is always about woman of my past. I dont want to think about or talk about it but she does not give me an option. I feel like she ask me questions that are going to set her off no matter what i say. She can not get out of the past and be in the present with me looking at the future. Any suggestions?

[Turkish]

Is the past simply that you have had other relationships, or is the something more to your past?

pwBPD fear abandonment, real or imagined. Having trouble controlling their emotions,  this fear can consume their thoughts.  Take a look to the right of the board to start. I know it's a lot of info to digest.  You would do well to take it in pieces.  The communication tools to reduce conflict are in Lesson 3. These might help to start:

What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship

How It Feels To Have BPD

The second link can give you some insight into how she might feel.  

A word of caution: I wouldn't tell her about this site. This is for you,  and we will be here to support you in any way which we can.  

Other than what appears to be,  perhaps, jealousy (at least that's my take on it,  tell us if you see it differently), what else are you struggling with?

Turkish