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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: My final counseling session and possible recycle attempt today  (Read 649 times)
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281

« on: July 18, 2017, 10:06:56 PM »

My final session was bitter sweet... I reallybwas surprised at how far I really have come after we wrapped things up. She feels I am much more self aware , my boundaries are better , but I have some work on what to do and how to handle once a boundary is pushed.
I feel much better after the session ... I will miss her a lot and hope I can find a new therapist that I click with . 
I am still feeling better tonite ... and I hope that this propels me out of the relapse feeling I was having.

So the recycle attempts ... I decided I'm just going to get my mail delivered ... as it's not a trigger for me so over the weekend It resumed ... and s months worth was in my box... I felt freee at last. I noticed a former housemates mail was in the bundle I laughed and thought they still can't sort it

Well today I had an outgoing package... scheduled it like I used to... .I was out all day ... get home and guess what someone ... .I assume the x delivered my housemates mail again and actually avoided the box they were to pick up staring right at them sticking out I don't the mailbox

In the past all mail that was not mine would be given to the x and we would joke about it , o e time he even said wow I even gave you her mail I really was distracted... .so that's why this is sorta on my mind , his boss also knows this mail is not mine

I could be wrong, but my guts saying this is an attempt of some sort and I'm not about to rengage ... .I can't risk it ... I would love for peace of some sort ... but all I want right now is to be able to just get my mail and put mail out with no interactions . I'm not affected by seeing him now that the protection orders are over... I feel so beyond free  , but I'm not strong enough yet to rengage and certainly don't want to trigger him.
My box is at the corner of my house not near my door ...
I tnought this would be simple since he claims to have no attachments for others
I'm thankful this happened after my great session
I have a lot of stuff I must focus on and can't allow him to suck me back in anyway shape or form
Thanks for letting me vent.
Harley Quinn
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2845

I am exactly where I need to be, right now.

« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2017, 06:14:26 AM »

Hi Idsrvt2,

I've followed your story with interest and something I've wondered is whether the postal service would not change your delivery person under the circumstances considering there were protection orders in place?  Surely it can't be so difficult to assign different routes to different postmen?  I'm not sure how the service operates where you are but in the UK they seem to change often, certainly in my area.  Just a thought. 

Is there a reason why your counselling has ended?  Was there a limit on the number of sessions you could have?  I've had that type of counselling where it wouldn't go on indefinitely, however am now on a waiting list with a different local service that will be ongoing for as long as I need it.  It does seem a shame when a good relationship with a counsellor has to end, however I'm glad you left things feeling positive about your progress and with a focus in mind for yourself.  Stay strong and keep her words present in your mind.  Look after yourself.

Love and light x

We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281

« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2017, 07:44:40 AM »

Hello Harley,
The post office refused to change his route and I quote his boss "we will do what the courts tell us to and right now they say he can still deliver mail" he went onto say there are two sides to all this and questioned if I was in a relationship... .I think my x basically told a different story... .I tried and tried to go above his boss and no one would return my calls... I was having a lot of ptsd and had to just take care of myself.
My legal aide attorney basically fired me over this matter as well because she refused to have the order say he could not deliver mail around me and again I quote " we can't make the post office do anything"
After the court dates and there were two long drawn out battles of sorts give plus hours each ... my mail was cut off... .now I'm disabled and it's tough for me to carry packages to the post office... even the doors to their buildings don't automatically open so you must carry package in one hand... .my father was often helping ...
His boss wanted us to move on as adults but the protection orders prevented that, one day my x walked out in front of my car
That wasn't a violation of the order because it stated he could deliver mail, so basically he could do as he wants around me... .I even went to the detective and he too said move on like adults and oh there must have been evidence against me too if I had an order against me (false in settlement that's what happens, both are granted ... ).
That's just a brief summary of what and how I tried to get him off the route the cops and detective were stunned he was still allowed here
My x has been on this route a little over four years prior to him the last guy stole our mail... .it's my opinion management should be replaced.

I got an automated msgs my package couldn't be found yesterday when it was right there in front of whoever delivered. 
My x started all this nonsense because I sent texts to him and in one called him a loser and threatened to report him to his boss because he was erratic ... .
In my state you need physical violence for a permenenat order and people questioned how even his temporary order was granted ... .my guess is he lied and said I was showing at his house... .as I did in the past when he tried to dump me as he would get suicidal both times I was welcomed in ... .

I guess I will know more when I talk to the boss... if my x worked he's either on heavy medications, or this is an attempt to get a reaction or for me to speak to him. 
I'm willing to just be peaceful... but won't be talking while he's working anytime soon if ever as he used his job to basically carry out his abuse... .that's the issue I have with the post office, although I've made peace with it
 I mean once someone gets thebpolice and courts involved and wants it withdrawn like my x did it just not ok... .to put me thru this knowing my health is not good etc is not ok.   Ok meaning I can't now just be like oh hey x ... younforgot my package and mis delivered mail .   
One would think he would be thrilled to get all his firearms back... apparently he can't make peace

As for counciling... it was free thru a domestic abuse center ... they gave me six extra sessions as is ... .so now I have to find a paying therapist and pay to see them Andy money is an issue as is... .plus not many take my insurance
Harley Quinn
Retired Staff
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2845

I am exactly where I need to be, right now.

« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2017, 12:03:44 PM »

I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulty you had in getting the postal service to listen to your concerns.  It's horrible to think that something like that could be so minimised and I agree that it ought to be addressed at management level.  Can't blame you for leaving it behind you though as sometimes the stress of dealing with more nonsense on top of having a traumatic time already can just become too much.  I can completely relate to that.  I have health issues too and have had an ongoing court battle over finances in regards to that for 18 months which I walked away from a couple of months ago as it was more than I could bear to continue.  It has cost me a lot of money that potentially I'd have been back paid.  When it starts to affect your well being to fight you have to pick your battles.

Have you resolved the mail issue with the manager now?  What was the outcome?

Sorry also to hear that the counselling has had to draw to a close and I wish you all the best in finding another that you can have the same rapport with. 

Love and light x

We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281

« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2017, 01:23:57 PM »

Thank you so much Harley ,
I'm sorry you too have health issues and had to go they this as well. 
Yes the fact the postal service brushed this aside hurt me for a long time ... only thing I think made this different as he told them way before this happened he was going thru stuff ...

I just witnessed the strangest thing I have have seen in this whole circumstance .

He obviously is incapable of peace of any kind.

I guess I was in the shower or the postmaster never knocked as I received a notification my package was picked up ... .so I goto open my door and there is a card from the postmaster.  I calmed down as I assumed my x was refusing to pick up said package .
So I call postmaster as he said he was in the area so picked up the packages as allegedly my x was off yesterday (I find that odd being last wed he was off I know this as I past the other truck on my way to a dr appointment,  yes I'm still hyper vigilant ... so tomm should be his scheduled day off , and this other carrier couldn't find the package... well it was right there in the box. Makes no sense
I will never know the truth ... if my x decided to not pick it up , or forgot it and wanted no interaction with me. The competent substitute carrier for certain would have seen the outgoing
I smell a coverup
Thenpostmaster even took my old housemates mail and I didn't even tell him that

was an issue, but he knew it was.    The odd thing is the other piece of mail was not delivered ...

I was nice and thankful and sickening boasted how wonderful it was that he made a special trip to get my package today... .when all along it made me ill. I'll that for four months I couldn't get that service .

I asked what the protocol would be going fwd and he said the same as always , but it in my box and schedule the pickup.

This shows you just how odd it all is across here and I was triggered big time ... .it's also odd he still avoids driving by my house yet can walk by it .
They make it worse than it ever had to be

What I did see is my x looking so bad ... no smile , no expression at all on his face ... I really think he's sinking and I can't reach out.
I know this is the first full week he has to adapt as do I ... but heck atleast I'm open to peace . Time will tell when I have another package and how that is handled . It's all just very odd.

If he was a narcassist wouldn't he walk by me with no care?  Not with his head down looking so emotionless.  It's just odd.  I wish I could just say hey it's ok now ... but I can't so I post here.
Maybe this is what painted black looks like I just dunno
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