Red flags I have noticed in high-sight:

[JB2]

I was glad I came across some postings here it has helped me to regain my personal sanity compass. I recently had a short term relationship with someone I believe has BPD. I was amazed at how dangerous someone like this could be who appears so normal. I had actually known and worked with this person for years but never him "pursue" me in a relationship.

Some Red Flags I wish I would have noticed - now I do in high-sight:

1. Purchasing big ticket gifts that were possibly out of his price range.
(He purchased a $5K instrument but drives a 90's vehicle)

2. Negative remarks about the things I owned that he lovingly wanted to replace in my home, first with permission then without.

3. Not long after he insured everything in my apartment under his name and doesn't live there.

4. Encouraged me to drive his vehicle rather than mine, then would take mine when I was asleep and leave me with no transportation.

5. Claiming to have more professional skills than he actually did. Ultimately he set me up to break my car by leaving some bolts loose and telling me to drive it around.

6. After he broke the car I made him take it to a mechanic and oddly enough he refused to pay the mechanic then put in new spark plugs at the lot to it and was able to drive it home.

7. If you called him on any bad behaviors he acted like an abused child and cited his childhood and would cry to divert blame.

It took me six months to repair the problems with the car. But that wasn't the only repair that had to be done. He had changed so many things in the house like the temperature on the water heater was turned too high. I had to contact the insurance company to remove his name and cancel the policy that was being mailed to my house. It was like cleaning out an infestation.

So, just a couple heads up to anyone who might run into this. You are not crazy. If someone takes your car, keys, or anything in your home without asking it is domestic theft. There is no excuse for not gaining permission. And don't let someone try to make you feel any obligation just because they purchase a big ticket item and say its a gift only to try to use it against you.

I believe this person had a spending problem and was trying to set up a back up place to pull funds out when needed from a renter's insurance policy. And trying to create a financial dependency by breaking my car.

I hope this helps someone one else. The other threads people posted helped me a lot so thank you members.