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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Good book or resources for teens  (Read 369 times)
Breakingfree9
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 173


« on: July 25, 2017, 09:31:11 AM »

It seems most books on BPD are for adults.

Is there a book/resource that gives coping skills for a teenage girl with a BPD mother? I'm trying my best to give my daughter the skills she needs to do with her BPD mother. But, I'm 51 and have learned the coping skills over the last 10 years since I recognized her mom's BPD. What has worked for me may not work for a teen.
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Panda39
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462



« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2017, 11:33:49 AM »

Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem, by Roth & Friedman

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, by Mason & Kreger

Understanding the Borderline Mother, by Christine Lawson

These are written for adults but you might preview them first and see if you feel they are appropriate for your daughter.  How old is your daughter, how mature, and how aware is she of her mother’s issues are all things to consider.  Is your daughter in therapy at all?  That is also a good place for her to learn coping tools as well as from you.

Below is a link to more information on co-parenting with someone with BPD just in case you haven’t seen it yet… https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=182254.0

Panda39
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
Thunderstruck
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2017, 05:26:55 PM »

I'm mostly commenting to follow. When my SD12 was younger we gave her "An Umbrella For Alex" which really did resonate with her. Her mom (uBPDbm) hasn't been diagnosed so I don't want to give her books like Panda39 mentioned above because it isn't our place to diagnose or label her. We mostly just talk to her a lot about her mom's behavior and her mom's personality which leads to her having difficulty controlling her emotions, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships, and impulsive with spending, etc.
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"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."

"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
bunny4523
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2017, 12:15:28 PM »

I'm mostly commenting to follow. When my SD12 was younger we gave her "An Umbrella For Alex" which really did resonate with her. Her mom (uBPDbm) hasn't been diagnosed so I don't want to give her books like Panda39 mentioned above because it isn't our place to diagnose or label her. We mostly just talk to her a lot about her mom's behavior and her mom's personality which leads to her having difficulty controlling her emotions, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships, and impulsive with spending, etc.

Good to know because that is the same approach we are taking since we don't actually know about a diagnosis... .
Thank you for the reassurance
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