So using SET, you might want to try to ask him to be gentler with you when you share. So you might start with something like:
I appreciate it when you listen to me share about X. It means a lot to me and shows me that you care. It's hard for me to talk about my problems sometimes. When I do share these things, I'm wanting someone to just listen and be gentle with me.
Is there anything you would add to this that might help flush it out a little more personal to you?
Thank you that's really good! Sometimes i just get so nervous and lost in my thoughts i can't think of the right way to SET things.
As far as making it more personal i'm not sure. Maybe you can help me.
The toughest thing for me is i feel like he tells everyone else yes but it's so easy for him to tell me no and I feel like asking him for time i'm asking for a kidney or something. By his own admission he says i'm the only person in his life that deserves his time but yet i still feel like im the only one that doesn't get it. Perfect example he is going to dinner tonight with his family (that he fights with on a daily basis and cringes at the sight of) and i'm not invited to it. Instead of coming over to my house after he just said he will see me tomorrow. I haven't suggested it yet, and in his defense he tends not to think of things like that, but to me that would be a great compromise since he doesn't get to my house until late anyway (because of my work schedule on Saturdays)
the whole dinner has me mad anyway none of his family works thurs or friday but they had to wait to schedule it for the 1 night i actually get to spend with him (i feel they do this intentionally sometimes)
I'm not sure how to go about asking without looking "pushy" or "ungrateful" for the effort he has been making lately... .typically i would say something like I just had an idea since you plan on coming over tomorrow do you think maybe you can come sleep over tonight after dinner that way we can sleep in a little and get a good star to our day together? but i feel like there may be a better way to say it to him. I hate that i even have to worry about this stuff but i know i do and i'm juust trying to find the best way to handle it.