Just learning

[GerberDaisy]

Hello, I'm just beginning to realize my adult (20 years old) child has BPD symptoms. The more I read the more so many situations throughout her childhood are beginning to make sense. This past week, she's been in emergency three times. She is threatening suicide and my heart is breaking. I really don't know how to manage my own stress with this.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello GerberDaisy:

Let me be the first to reach out to you to say welcome.  All of our stories are different but I am sure all of us know what you say when you write "my heart is breaking."  Our hearts have been broken many times, too.

There are no immediate answers to make your situation better but there is a bit of a release by being able to post your feelings on this forum.  I encourage you to continue to do so. 

Have you been told of any resources to go to in your area?  Do you have any other support with family or friends?

Wishing you some sunshine in your day, GerberDaisy.  Here is a hug (--) from me.

[Feeling Better]

Hi Gerber Daisy

My heart goes out to you, it must be an awful time for you with such enormous stress and worry about your daughter.

Do you have support and someone you can talk to?

I was an emotional wreck before I found this site, the advice and support I have been given here has helped me enormously and I am sure it will help you too x

[GerberDaisy]

Thank you. We are very early on in this journey. She was just diagnosed this week. Up until now I thought I was crazy. Now as I learn more everyday, I'm putting so much together.

I have an appointment next week to talk to someone about how to cope with this. 

[Worriedmum99]

 I think we are all just "learning" how to get through day to day.  My daughter (18) was diagnosed two months ago after her 2nd stint in accident and emergency.  First time I was called there cause she had taken an overdose and the 2nd time I took her myself because I was scared what she would do.

The day I discovered she was self harming, (about a year ago) in all honesty, caused me so much pain and anguish.  I've tried ignoring it... .I've tried leaving her little notes telling her how much we love her,... .I've left her medical supplies in the place of blood stained tissues... .I have removed sharp objects hidden in her room when she has been out and I have read her diaries.   I am not proud of most of this behavior, but it's been done out of love and fear.   It turns out, all it does to our relationship is annoys and irritates her, she thinks I'm controlling.  Whilst in return it really messes up my head and causes me to continue on my journey in a state if permenant panic attack.

I don't know what the answer is.  She is on new medication but still has highs and lows. She is waiting on a very long waiting list for some kind of therapy.   
This kind of parenting is tough.  If I could have one wish it would be for a window of opportunity to appear where we could talk honestly and openly to each other.   I say the wrong thing all of the time and she has forgotten how to be honest with me. 

It's heartbreaking.   It does however bring me enormous comfort that I am far from alone in dealing with this.