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Author Topic: DD 18 coming home from hospital stay for suicidal intentions...we're scared  (Read 546 times)
1hope
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« on: August 12, 2017, 08:22:08 AM »

Hi,
Our BPD D18 has been in the hospital since Monday when she called the crisis line because she was suicidal.  They felt she was in imminent danger and called the police, who arrived at our house at 1am.  We've had mixed feelings about all of this, as she bypassed steps in her safety plan, and seemed to have "prepared" to go in, even packing a bag. 

Yesterday she had a 2hr pass to attend an appt with her support worker.  It went well.  Today she has an "overnight pass".  She will be meeting with her DBT therapist today.  We're worried because previously when she has been hospitalized (twice before), by this point she has been eager to come home.  This time, however, she is telling us she is worried about coming home, because she doesn't have her thoughts under control yet, and things get worse at night.  We have expressed this to the dr in the hospital, but she feels that our daughter needs to test the waters at home, using her coping strategies.  We agree, but are scared.  Ultimately she needs to include us when she needs help, but we don't know if she will.  I am afraid when I see an ambulance or police car drive down our street now... .

Anyone else been here before?  What helped you?
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
wendydarling
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« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2017, 11:30:05 AM »

Hi Hope - big hugs to you, we travel a similar road, I understand you are scared, always remember you are doing your very best, as we learn, breathe 

I relate to what you are going through with your DD, with my 28DD last year and 2015. I learnt it took time for my 28DD to have in place coping skills (DBT) she needed to successfully enact her safety plan, alongside getting the meds right for depression, anxiety which seemed to be a major barrier for my DD to be able to learn, use her new DBT skills. She got there.

My DD came home for 'night visits' towards the end of a couple of stays at a women's crisis home (used instead of hospital, it's like a half way home between hospital and home, where they can feel safe, listened to, understood). My DD often felt anxious like your DD says, it's too soon, I don't feel safe going home. That's when her therapist called DD in immediately to work through suicidal/self harm, to get her back on track - DBT and it became DD's focus again... .DBT works for her. Your DD's DBT therapist is there for your DD, sounds like they are working hard to bring her through, her crisis, to next steps?

Between your DD and the crisis team, she's coming home to you, to loving parents, a calm environment helped my DD too. DD did tuck her self away in her room, I thought the very worse, however she was doing her best practicing her DBT skills to manage her  pain! She did not need me at that time and sought me out when she needed support, company - love and a hug from someone who understands, like you do 1Hope is a gift to pwBPDs. It can get better, it's a journey slow, gently journey, can you see that yet?

My thoughts are with you Hope. Looking forward to hearing how you are, when time fits.

WDx 
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
1hope
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« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2017, 05:21:13 PM »

Thank you for your support WD.  It meant a lot on a very difficult day. 

We ended up taking DD back to the hospital after her appt with her DBT therapist.  She was still feeling suicidal, and had a plan. She didn't want to say anything, as she felt like she'd be letting us (and the hospital Dr.) down.  In the past, she has not revealed her plan to us, and we just ended up waiting for it to happen.  In her therapy session, we had a bit of a breakthrough... .she finally revealed to me what her plan was.  We all told her how hard that was, and how she made a choice to move forward! 

This will be the longest stay in hospital for her.  DD's psychologist (DBT therapist) asked if she had ever been diagnosed with bi-polar.  We said she hadn't... .but something for us to ask the psychiatrist about now... .

As I said Wendy, thanks for your support.  Today has been a really rough one.  One day at a time... .
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