Weird text message

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I really need help. My Ex boyfriend had BPD. I have posted about him before but I got a bizarre text this morning. He texted me saying a need a screen shot of out conversation last night because I'm in a lot of trouble. I said what conversation I never texted you. He said yes you did on someone else's phone. He than accused me of causing problems with his new relationship because the same person texted his new girl saying that me and the ex are trying to work things out and she should know. I have not and would not do this. I am trying desperately to get over him. I am still hurting I certainly would not want to be yelled at by him over her. Does anyone think he is making all of this up to start drama or is someone else trying to mess with my situation. Please help I feel like I am going to really lose it if these games don't stop. I have never been so hurt by someone as I have by him and I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please help. Thanks and I forgot to mention the new girl texted me asking what was going on. I just said it wasn't me. Even tho he still texts me stupid random things sometimes even tho he is engaged to her.

[Lovesjesus]

I really need help. My Ex boyfriend had BPD. I have posted about him before but I got a bizarre text this morning. He texted me saying a need a screen shot of out conversation last night because I'm in a lot of trouble. I said what conversation I never texted you. He said yes you did on someone else's phone. He than accused me of causing problems with his new relationship because the same person texted his new girl saying that me and the ex are trying to work things out and she should know. I have not and would not do this. I am trying desperately to get over him. I am still hurting I certainly would not want to be yelled at by him over her. Does anyone think he is making all of this up to start drama or is someone else trying to mess with my situation. Please help I feel like I am going to really lose it if these games don't stop. I have never been so hurt by someone as I have by him and I don't know what to do anymore. Someone please help. Thanks and I forgot to mention the new girl texted me asking what was going on. I just said it wasn't me. Even tho he still texts me stupid random things sometimes even tho he is engaged to her.

[caughtnreleased]

Hi Lovesjesus,

I'm really sorry to hear about what is going on with your ex. It sounds really difficult. From my experience with my own BPDex texting me and then telling me that it's impossible that he texted because he deleted my phone number, and then if he did text he must have been drunk, I would say that your ex is causing drama, and possibly lying.

If someone did text him, how is it that he hasn't called them to find out who they are and what is going on? Why are they contacting you for a text that someone else sent? It really doesn't make any sense and it sounds like he's being cruel by contacting you.

I would highly recommend that you block him on your phone and your social media. Completely disconnect from him.

In order for you to recover from this it really is best for you to cease all contact with him. Is there a reason why you are in contact with him and why his fiancé has your phone number? If anything you might need to change your number to really get away from both of them. I am not familiar with the situation exactly, but the best course of action is for you to remove yourself from this. Find friends and family who you can talk with and who are supportive. Once you are no longer in contact with him you will be able to start healing and move on with your life.

[Lovesjesus]

Thanks for your response. I believe the girlfriend said she was contacted thru a fake instagram account message. Someone has really gone thru something elaborate to get at me. I agree I will block my number. Last time I did that he messaged me thru twitter. He always finds a way. If he is in this new relationship what does he want with me?  And why would he jeopardize the new relationship?  Do many things I just don't understand. I do agree he could have just called the other number and not text me. Please tell me it's possible to move on with someone else after this I'm at my lowest point!

[caughtnreleased]

Hi Lovesjesus,

Not only is it possible to move on, but it is possible to move on with someone who will be able to treat you with love and kindness. Many of us have been in the place that you are now, including myself, and I promise you it gets much better, but there is a great deal of pain when a BPD relationship ends. You also need to protect yourself, and blocking contact is a good way of doing it. The fake instagram account sounds really bizarre - it could very well be your ex. Again, it sounds like cutting off contact with both of them is the best way forward for you to heal.

It has been a long and difficult journey for me but I am now in one of the best places of my life. The thing about someone who has a personality disorder is that they mistreat those who are closest to them. It is really common for someone with BPD to move on really quickly after a breakup, and to make sure that their ex knows that they have moved on. If you read more on this forum there are many people who have gone through the discard that is very common when you are in a relationship with a BPD. I too went through the discard phase, and the more I tried to stay, the more I was discarded. I understand how painful it is, but yes, it will get better.

Your ex will not change his behaviour. He will continue to discard you if you give him the chance, and maybe even blame you for any problems in his current relationship. This is another trait of BPD, they don't see themselves as responsible for anything that happens in their lives - it's always the fault of others. 
The best way to move on is to learn to value yourself, which will help you to find someone who also values you. Is there someone you can speak to about this? A friend, a family member, a therapist? It's always really helpful to reach out for support at a time like this. Keep posting here too. It will help you process what you are going through.

[Joe77]

A person with BPD or another personality disorder will go through a lot of trouble to make up things. Lying is a part of life and it becomes natural. Sounds like to me he is trying to use you to make his current girlfriend jealous and want him more while keeping you on the hook emotionally if it doesn't work out. By creating this drama he pulls you both in and he wins looking like the sane one while both of the women are scratching your head. Its called manipulation and they are pros at it. The only way is to avoid and go no contact.