Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 07:21:35 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Got sucked back in then dropped on my head 10 times harder ?  (Read 369 times)
problemsolver
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 212


« on: August 20, 2017, 12:27:19 AM »

Several years ago I was involved with a diagnosed BPD girl and it was an " interesting " experience to say the least.

About a year ago I got involved with another girl who seems very similar. I'll try to keep it very short. ive been involved with this uBPD girl for a little over a year

Past 3 months have been something like this...
-- I got reconnected with her after a " break up " or " break " ... she told me how much she missed me etc etc ... claims she thought about me a lot but didn't
contact me. We had a good month back maybe ?

--Then the push pull starts again ... we can't be together etc etc
--within a couple days or a week she's " dating or talking to " another guy ... this goes on for about a month

- out of the blue she tells me she's cutting me off , I'm the reason her " new relationship can't grow " , she wants to cut me off so things can flourish with this guy she's know for a month or so.

- she ends up essentially triangulating the guy against me ... " he's shown me how serious he is in such a short period of time " , " we never argue " etc etc
- I persist for 4 days , she talks to me - the convos are look warm... .on the 4th day she screams at me... "WHY are you calling ?" " what's wrong with you?" , "I'm gonna change my number "( this one kind of shocked me"...

- I leave her alone - 3 DAYS LATER - " hey " ... .I was baffled by the message... and actually a bit scared because I didn't understand it... she had no logical reason ... she just said she " felt bad" " wanted to be on good terms " etc etc ... she apologies ... I was so hesitant to let her back in but I like her... she claimed to be so sorry and " cared about me "

- so within a week she ends up breaking up with the guy I guess? I end up back at her place everything is good for a couple days later , her ex boyfriend who lives near by sees me walk in at night ... she claims they don't talk, she doesn't want to be with him etc etc ... we had a good couple days then she starts a random fight saying I'm texting girls in her bed? ( I wasn't )

- then starts the let's be friends etc etc push push , we will only ever be friends
- so I let time pass ... seeing what's gonna happen if she'll open up... I end up calling her phone ... she picks up and the same pattern starts " don't talk to me " " leave me alone " ... a guy grabs the phone it's the ex boyfriend " she doesn't talk to" him and I have a little chat ... ( nothing crazy or threatening ) he was just acting like a white knight.

-the final phone call the next day goes something like this
Me-hey who was that on the phone ? I feel like you owe me some explanation about what's going on?
Her- don't call me blah blah that's my ex boyfriend
Me- you mean the one you don't talk to?
Her- I changed my mind ... what I can't change my mind?
Me: that was pretty embarrassing and hurtful I feel like you lied to me a lot
Her: no I just changed my mind etc etc , I've never loved you , I love him , it's been 3 weeks why aren't you over me yet , go meet someone new , never talk to me again, I will never talk to you again, I don't care about your feelings ... etc etc etc same triangulation thing she did with the other guy... essentially I'm a piece of $#%^ who means nothing and this old guy means everything all the sudden? ( keep in mind this is all said with what sounds like a ton of hatred and regret toward me)

Sorry if that was too long... I honestly feel a bit crazy about the whole thing. A lot of anger regarding her deception and harsh words... but at the same time if she said sorry and wanted to apologize for some strange reason I would hear her out... I don't hate her for some reason , I just hate her behavior her actions and lack of empathy...

Her mind seems to switch up so rapidly , obviously people can't diagnose a person via the internet but is this what splitting is like? Literally " caring about someone " and then suddenly it becomes disgusting hatred ? Or did I just run into a terrible narcissistic person? Her harsh words were so mean  ... I'm just so lost  :?:

 She essentially discarded me , only to fight to have me back , only to throw me in the trash 5 times as hard as the first time within the span of 2 months! :shock:

Thanks for reading and or replying back!
Logged
Idsrvt2
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281


« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2017, 09:06:14 AM »

Sorry you are going thru this.  She sounds like my x , although he didn't have anyone in real life I suspect he had someone online possibly.

He broke up with me via phone saying he can't have feelings for anyone he has no connections... I felt so violated I had just had a medical procedure... .this all came about because I texted him the nite prior I needed space... because I was upset he dropped me home early after a very fun few hours out.   

Before all that there were two other events where he said we can't be in a relationship Andy then would switch to asking me what I would want, would I want to just stay home and not work like his sister or what... .talking of a future ... then would switch again to talking about how I deserve better than him he is going to be like his father and abuse me . He always worried about the father , yet doesn't even speak to him.   He also at one point was afraid I would be like his father and said I scared him.

He took out a RO on me which still leaves me baffled and had his atty apologize for him... .I was so angry and shaken that he would do such a thing I declined.

He hasn't tried to reel me back in and I doubt he would... .but I've heard he's really struggling ... he delivers my mail daily now.

The manner in which a BPD can just cut you off and then say what is wrong with you, just go find another person... .is just all part of their fears of abandonment and engulfment.   It's how they have coped for years .

My x has no friends , feels he's transgender, yet if that's true he just tossed me the one person that accepted him.  Mine is like a child his sister controls his life too.   My x didn't treat me bad until he played the push pull with me . He never yelled at me.  I don't think my x is coping well with our split

Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!