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Author Topic: Ran into BPD ex, still caught in the loop  (Read 383 times)
Belizabeth

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 22


« on: August 22, 2017, 07:33:41 PM »

A few days ago I randomly drove by my ex who has BPD. I haven't seen her since we broke up and haven't even tried to reach out. I am definitely done even tho I miss her so much. When I drove by her we both staired at eachother and I got an email from her that said "yes it was me. You can call me if you want to talk." I deleted the email and went on with my day. When I initially broke it off w her 8 months ago she was engaged to a man a week later and they were broken up after 4 months so now she's single I'm assuming. However my question is this although I have her phone number blocked, as well as social media and I will NOT talk to her I am still extremely caught in this cycle internally. I find myself "stalking" her Pinterest and Facebook from time to time and it's just feeding this terrible cycle of me "trying to figure her out". Her irrational behavior. I am also a woman and we had a same sex relationship and she seems to go all over the place with her sexuality as well. I don't know how to stop checking up on her and getting caught up in this, although as far as contact I have managed to cut off all contact and will not respond so I do not directly involve myself with her. Does anyone else deal with this and how do I finally move on? I just want to stop obsessing and stop caring so much for someone who just seems to use anyone and everyone as an object. I haven't dated anyone since we broke up.
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Idsrvt2
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 281


« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2017, 09:17:53 PM »

I don't have any advice as I'm in the thick of it myself.
What did you mean by changes her sexuality?
Reason I ask is my x identifies as transgender and thought he has split personality.

He wants to be female again, but can't seem to do so.

I see mine daily... .delivers my mail... .he is doing bad... .I almost reached out to him as I intuitively sensed it... .  he's out "sick". So I've checked his social media he's been active... .so still alive.    He's been out a few days now ... .he's done this before and says he stays home and cries

You're stronger than I am... .I probably would have replied so please give yourself some credit.   I had to talk to my x about mail... .and I was polite and he looked scared or mad... and barely spoke .  I'm so used to trying to help him I just can't right now after all he did.  Although if you read my posts I struggle so much.
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Belizabeth

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 22


« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2017, 10:16:44 PM »

I've been in this cycle with her for 2... .going on 3 years now (if I chose to respond which I won't) so I guess after time and the constant strange behavior I came to some sort of sense that it wasn't me creating this crazy making. I definitely still check up on her and for me I get hard on myself because I believe it still keeps this cycle going even if I'm not directly speaking with her. I've found some self worth and bounderies which is why responding to her isn't an option and what I mean by "changes her sexuality" is she flip flops constantly. When I was with me she told me she was a lesbian and did not like men or respect them she went as far as saying that men are lesser human beings then woman and then she was engaged to one a week after we broke up for 4 months. So she says one thing but does something totally different
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