Starting the process of divorcing my BPD/NPD husband of 23 years

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My heart finally switched off during our daughter's 17th birthday. It had taken 28 years. He told me I was the nicest person he had ever met, then the fun began! I grew tired of the rages against me and our children when we travelled, the inappropriate stupid dad-jokes, the shutting down and dismissive remarks and looks. I am gathering my team, with a divorce coach, CPA, lawyer, therapist, career coach and a few friends and family members who are aware of the situation. It is a scary road to go down, especially since I work with my husband. I was hoping all the time that things would improve, but when I read that NPD only becomes worse with age, I told myself, "Oh, hell no!" Thank you in advance for your support!

[Gigglemama]

My heart finally switched off during our daughter's 17th birthday. It had taken 28 years. He told me I was the nicest person he had ever met, then the fun began! I grew tired of the rages against me and our children when we travelled, the inappropriate stupid dad-jokes, the shutting down and dismissive remarks and looks. I am gathering my team, with a divorce coach, CPA, lawyer, therapist, career coach and a few friends and family members who are aware of the situation. It is a scary road to go down, especially since I work with my husband. I was hoping all the time that things would improve, but when I read that NPD only becomes worse with age, I told myself, "Oh, hell no!" Thank you in advance for your support!

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Gigglemama and Welcome! 

Sorry that you had reason to find us, yet glad that you did as I'm sure bpdfamily can also become part of that support team for you.  It's great that you are reaching out and getting a strong network around yourself at this difficult time, as you're clearly aware this road is likely to be a bumpy one, and we can be here along the way for you.

When you are ready to share more of your story about what brings you to this point, we'll be listening.  Working together must make things especially difficult for you at this time I would imagine.  Is your H diagnosed with NPD and does he receive any treatment of any kind?  Do you have any other children?  I ask because there are great resources on the site to assist with co parenting and the family law board is extremely helpful too for someone approaching family court. 

Keep reading and posting, and let us know how best we can support you.

Love and light x

[Mutt]

Hi Gigglemama,



I'd like to join Harley Quinn and welcome you to bpdfamily, divorcing someone with a PD is difficult, it's not impossible and you're doing the right thing with getting as many people in your corner. I'd like to suggest a book for you, you could give or lend a copy to your L too, it helps to be as knowledgeable as possible with a pwBPD / NPD.

Splitting; Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline - William Eddy, Esq

Family Law, Divorce, and Custody