Broken and sick

[Pookiepie]

Mu daughter has BPD.  She is beautifil, intelligent, musically talented, creative, charitanle.  She has 5 beautiful children ages 10-1.  I used to tend the 3 older children a lot which was fun and endearping.  4 years ago she wanted no more contact because our parenting styles were different.  A few weeks ago I was told by a family memer that she had told people in the family that I had inappropriately touch her children.  I had never heard any accusation before.  Last week a neighbor who works at the school that my grandchildren attend told me that my daughter has been telling the teachers that her children had been sexually abused by their grandmother (me).  I am sick.  This absolutely did not happen.  I love those children with all my heart.  What a horrible accusation to make!  It was never reported to my knowledge and she didnt address the issue with me.  Years ago she claimed that my husband had sexually abused her when she was young.  Later she said that her counselor had suggested that she might have been abused as a child.  I am sick and broken and actually scared of being around children.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[incadove]

Oh Pookiepie, that is so hard to be falsely accused of something awful!

I'm so sorry that happened to you.  Try to remember its not you, its the BPD behaviors of your daughter.  This has nothing to do with you.  Maybe its attention-seeking, projecting, whatever, it has to do with her, not you.

I would tell members of the family in whatever way you are comfortable that you heard the accusation, that you are deeply hurt by it, and that it is absolutely untrue.  Its important for truth to be said, and it may make you feel better to have let people know the truth.

Take care and it was so good of you to take care of the children, the reality is you probably were a very positive influence in their lives.