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Author Topic: Can I be prepared/ prevent BPD from suicide?  (Read 465 times)
lupacexi

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Posts: 3


« on: September 07, 2017, 11:29:37 PM »

Hello!

My ex BPD is hurt (and so am I) now that he knows that "things are over".
He has had a suicideattempt after a failed relationship before... .his sister found his letter... .
an angel apeared (so he says) and made a deal with him so he choose to make this pact.
Sometimes I think of it as "a pact with the devil" for it concerns the way he treats (spoils) his youngest (16) daughter.
That he spoils her that much (an atmosph of nearly incest) is the main reason I cannot support our rs any longer
I have written his sister to read about BPD and I wrote that I cannot be responsible for his acts when he "feels down".
He often talked about sc when our rs should be over.
He now asks not to tekst anymore since our rs is over.
OK.
BUT... .say that one day I know or feel that he's attempted to sc... .Is there anything I can do? must do to prevent it?
Say that he'll texst so as a cry for help?
Anything else but praying for him?
I am quite sure he won't do sc in the first one and half year because his pact is till that daughter is 16.
I know I have to move on myself but I like/must prepared and this community proved to help me.
Thanks.
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Mutt
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Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2017, 10:39:25 AM »

Hi lupacexi,

Welcome

I'm sorry to hear that. I bet that you feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells when you think about your ex.

I'm glad that you decided to join us, you'll find people that can off you guidance and support. I also think that you did the right thing by reaching out and not venture down this path alone, are you also seeing a T ( Therapist )

Here's a good article on suicidal ideation in someone other that yourself.

Suicide ideation in others
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Harley Quinn
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« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2017, 03:40:55 PM »

Hi lupacexi,

I'd like to join Mutt in welcoming you to the site.  It's good you found us.  Sorry to hear that you are having these understandable worries.  I have been in a similar position.  My exBPDbf made several attempts during the r/s and I knew there was a risk of this when I left him.  It's hard.  Especially when we are caretaker types, which the vast majority of us find ourselves to be.

Excerpt
I have written his sister to read about BPD and I wrote that I cannot be responsible for his acts when he "feels down".
He often talked about sc when our rs should be over.
He now asks not to tekst anymore since our rs is over.

It sounds to me like you have done all you can here, by notifying his family - who are already aware of his tendencies towards this from reading your post.

This might be difficult to accept right now, as you feel responsible in some way, in no small part due to the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) so many of us go through in a BPD r/s.  However it finally clicked with me one day and I had to repeat this to myself out loud a lot for a time until it sunk in - You are not responsible for him or his behaviour. 

If he reaches out to you directly in crisis, direct him to a professional service - encourage him to go to a hospital, or to speak to a suicide helpline or mental health crisis team.  It takes trained professionals to help a person through this stuff and he needs that help if he is in that situation.  Regards anything else you might be doing now, I'd say stick to the NC he has requested as this is good for you and try to take small steps to move forwards in your life.  The lessons to the right side of the board here are a great starting point.  Also, take a read of the articles in the self help material (just above the lessons) and see what resonates with you. 

Keep posting here, as we can help you to move forward in your healing journey.

Love and light x
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