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Author Topic: Compulsive cleaning, Unacceptable to change mother, sarcastic, silent treatment  (Read 365 times)
lucky013
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 75


« on: September 16, 2017, 03:19:40 AM »

This is my first time writing on here, I have been in several relationships with BPD, most recently 3 months ago. However, i managed to finish that quickly and cleanly due to the previous experience.
However, its becoming more and more clear that my mother is BPD.

She is so OCD with her cleaning and methods of doing things. Wants you to need her at all times. She likes to be needed but anything she does she expects the same to be done back.

She has been using emotional incest since my father left when I was about 7. She used to say you're the man of the house now your dads gone, which I recently found out is a normal method of emotional incest.

 Whenever she had boyfriends, we would always be forgotten about, looked after but that would be it. They would always leave because she was never happy no matter the relationship, so of the guys were good people but she was never pleased and others the relationships were abusive. She had a hard upbringing, but I know that isn't a reason for me to be treated like this. She preys more on my sister nowadays because she has epilepsy and uses that as a way to keep her here due to medications etc. But really she is doing it as a selfish act.

 I'm now 26 still living at home. Both I and my sister are in the process of leaving her and the country and she is becoming more and more intolerable. I and my sister speak. However, the relationship we both have with our mother isn't good. She tries to do everything for us and when we don't do the same back for her, were seen as ungrateful. She is very materialistic and is so proud that she has looked after us kids from a young age but emotionally being void for most of that time. She has been a functional alcoholic for most of that time. being better and worse at times and is very materialistic. Has so much pride in everything she has done and in being able to keep the house even though she is unhappy and miserable. I tell her to sell the house and go and do things she wants and says I'm ungrateful and rude and that's why nobody likes me.
Brings me to think why I have ended up in so many relationships with BPD girls.

I guess this is venting but at the same time,  it makes me want to leave and never come back because whenever I am here. It makes me very unhappy.
 I have recently injured my shoulder which has put me back as I need to get it fixed. However, a part of me says I should leave for Australia and just get it fixed out there as the cost-saving isn't worth being here

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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12105


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« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2017, 12:21:11 AM »

Leaving helped me immensely. Physical distance is a good boundary.  Despite your injury,  what are your plans?
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
lucky013
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 75


« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2017, 06:01:48 AM »

Leaving helped me immensely. Physical distance is a good boundary.  Despite your injury,  what are your plans?

to travel and work in different countries, one being Australia and I love to do outdoor sports, surfing, rock climbing and mountain biking! But with a broken shoulder is going to make working on building sites difficult.
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