I'm trying to come to terms with having a BPD mother

[ButterFlyAway]

Hello. This is the first time I've ever reached out to others who might understand a BPD parent. I recently started going to therapy to deal with issues involved with a verbally and sometimes physically abusive mother who was very erratic and unsupportive. I am frequently left hurt and confused by her behavior. I'm trying to understand how BPD plays a role, and how to heal from these wounds left over from childhood.

[Panda39]

Hi ButterFlyAway,

Welcome to the BPD Family

As you know having a BPD parent isn't easy (putting it mildly) and neither is healing from it.  You are on a journey and this site is a great place to get support, ideas, and tools that can assist you.  It's great that you're seeing a Therapist they can help guide you along the way too.

Has your mother been officially diagnosed or are you like many of us and the shoe just fits?  Have you done much research on BPD?  When I first found out about it, the first place I want was my local library and read everything they had on the topic.

Two books on BPD in general I liked were... .

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger

and

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change by Valerie Porr M. A.
 
One other book you might want to check out is... .

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson

Your confusion with your mom's behavior is natural, it is confusing, I felt the same way when I first encountered someone with BPD.  Over time though by reading and spending time here I've come to understand it better and there really is a pattern to the behaviors.

I want to point out the box to the right -> each topic is a link to more information.  You might want to check out the "Lessons" section as you have time.

Can you tell us what you struggle with most in terms of your mom?  Maybe we can give you some ideas on how to better negotiate a particular issue you might be having.

I know other members will be along to add their welcomes to mine.

Take Care,
Panda39