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115
Poll
Question: Issues complicating your relationship in addition to mental health...
Underemployment - me
Underemployment - partner
Physical impairment/disease - me
Physical impairment/disease - partner
Drug - me
Drug - partner
Alcohol- me
Alcohol- partner
Adultery - me
Adultery - partner
Hitting - me
Hitting - partner
Gaming - me
Gaming - partner
Gambling - me
Gambling - partner
Other- me (please explain)
Other- partner (please explain)
None of the above - me
None of the above - partner

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Author Topic: POLL: Unemployment, drugs, alcohol, etc. issues  (Read 351 times)
Cromwell
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« on: May 17, 2018, 03:42:44 PM »

Hi all

Just my first straw poll interested to see how much unhealthy addictions have been a part in your relationship.

I know in my case, in addition to the BPD, my ex was heavily involved in both and I feel it was a significant contribution to the majority of the difficulties experienced throughout the relationship.

Thanks for voting!
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Turkish
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« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2018, 04:15:16 PM »

We drank together only once at a party before we had kids.  My ex was so scared of drugs that she wouldn't even take Tylenol for a headache.  Unfortunately, she didn't want to try mood stabilizing drugs either even at the behest of her T. 
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Mutt
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« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 05:21:32 PM »

she didn't want to try mood stabilizing drugs either even at the behest of her T. 

I know that my ex was given a prescription for anti depressants and I don't think that she ever took them I think that she said that I had the problem and that I was depressed she was right about depression. I'm sure Cromwell that you'll find other members that have a pwBPD with substance abuse issues it never came into play with my ex and I we drank a few times but she wasn't a drinker or drug user.
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Zen606
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« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2018, 01:11:36 AM »

Hi everyone,
Smoking marijuana all day beginning in the AM, stroke disabilities, no ambition, no interest in even doing volunteer work -- these were some areas that composed my bp trait ex's life. Yes, they did concern me and told me much about him and his view of the world.

Zen606
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Aesir
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« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2018, 03:52:46 PM »

My ex was chronically unemployed. She thought it was ok to put the financial burden of making the relationship work all on me. When she didn't get what she wanted she caused trouble.
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Harley Quinn
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« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2018, 05:48:49 PM »

I'm glad to see that you included ourselves in the topics for the poll Cromwell.  It will certainly be interesting to see how this looks when there are a quantity of votes, and the initial results are already creating a picture.  I wonder how many of us began to drink or take drugs as a result of being with our partners, either through joining them in their use or as a result of the stress we encountered in the r/s.

Love and light x 
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GaGrl
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« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 07:56:45 PM »

The only reason I didn't mark Underemployment for DH's experience with his ex is that her education in her native country was the equivalent of a U.S. fourth grade. However, when she figured out she could work as a "massage therapist" (unlicensed) and get paid for the type of activity that she had done for years to manipulate boyfriends, she suddenly figured out how to run a business.

My DH spent years in fear she would be arrested, and that his professional reputation would be connected to her "business."

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In yours and my discharge."
Zen606
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« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2018, 08:23:16 PM »

Hi everyone,
My bp trait ex was stroke disabled, right side -- he could walk but had no use of his right arm So he felt self-conscious about going on into the world. However he had made some interesting comments that I did not pay too much attention to at the time -- in a relationship he would chose to stay home, he would care for the home and the partner would work for a wage. I can certainly see him doing that well, as he was a smart guy,  neat, clean, but my first instinct about this was that he did not want to work for a living.  He had an elaborate story about what he did before he had the stroke and all the money he made and then losing everything etc.  He also, during the time I knew him, had no ambition, although he did dabble in clay work -- haiku. I say dabble because he had the kiln and equipment and would make pieces but I was never sure if he was following through with the pieces or if this was staged. Also, as I don't trust him, I'll never know.

Zen606
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