He seems to be stealing the mail

[toomanydogs]

I am anxious, scared, angry, tired... .

For two days I've gotten absolutely no mail, which, for many reasons, leads me to the conclusion he is stealing the mail.

I am too unsettled to write about this right now. Will contact PO.

TMD

[Panda39]

I don't know if anyone has already suggested this so forgive me if I'm repeating, but why not get a PO Box?  That way you don't need to have contact with your ex or deal with this drama.  Take yourself off the drama triangle.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=108440.0
https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle

Panda39

[flourdust]

What made you think that? He's been away for a month, right? You think he's coming around once a day just to grab mail?

Panda ... .you may be thinking of another poster who has started several topics about her ex and her mail. I actually thought the same thing myself when I read this post, until I saw it was a different poster.

[Panda39]

Thanks Flourdust... .toomanydogs ignore my post, Flourdust is right I'm mixing you up with someone else   
Panda39

[toomanydogs]

Hi Panda; Hi Flourdust,
  Panda, I got a PO box yesterday when I went to the post office. As it turns out I was wrong about him stealing the mail.  I went to the post office again today to ask if they could hold the mail until things were going to my PO box. Turns out my ex requested the PO hold his mail--just his not mine, but that's not how it works, and it was being held for the address not the individual.
  The clerk made a note on the hold he'd requested that he was not to be given a hold as he doesn't live here. She asked me to separate the mail, so that when he comes in he can get his. So I did that. I also had the lock changed, per the clerk's suggestion.
  So what I learned from this is that I'm really wound up. I need to remind myself to breathe and try to get all my facts before I jump to a conclusion. I know divorce is hard, and I also know that when I'm this wound up, everything gets to me, and I catastrophize. Doesn't serve me. I know that, and still I'm likely to engage in it again until I'm through all of this and can get to the other side.
   I will hire my attorney on Monday and let the lawyer know how I want to proceed and why.
   And, Flourdust, yes, he's been away for six weeks. It was only within the last few days that I wasn't receiving mail at all. Yesterday, I jumped to the conclusion he was attempting to interrupt the delivery of a check. I was wrong.
TMD

[ForeverDad]

So how has he been getting his mail?  I'm guessing you forward it?

Where I live my ex was able to have her mail forwarded but mine continued to my mailbox.

I agree the early weeks of separation are tense.  I recall that within ten days of our separation my mailbox was bombed with what the officer estimated was an M40.  He said kids probably did it.  I asked how many mailboxes in the area had been bombed.  He said none.  But he wouldn't believe my just-separated spouse might have had something to do with it.  It's still a mystery to this day.

[whirlpoollife]

 toomanydogs , I would say you are in the hyper vigilant mode. Why it's because we know what our spouses have done and are capabable of doing.  As time goes on , as you get more proactive , it will turn in to the guarded mode.  
Take a look at the chart called ... "Victim, Survivor, Thrivor"
In the early stages, with xh living under same roof,  I had a PO Box, a storage unit, a seperate phone ( as  he knew where I was all the time) and never used the same computor as he did.
After he left the house , I changed the locks the next day.  

[toomanydogs]

So how has he been getting his mail?  I'm guessing you forward it?

I haven't been getting anything here of his except for catalogues and junk mail. I assumed he'd set up a PO Box, but I'm honestly not sure.