Hi RFSC,
It's good to hear from you. Sorry to hear that you're finding it tough to break contact. I understand this is what your therapist advises for you to be able to detach and begin to heal. Is this the way you feel you ought to be going?
I'm interested to know what the safety concerns are regards her new partner. Has she shared these with you or has it come from another source/your own observations?
Yes it certainly must be very shocking and upsetting to hear her say those words to you after you have such a history together. I feel for you. Perhaps taking that step away from the situation will be a healthy decision to make in order to work through the feelings that you have without rubbing salt in the wound, so to speak. Have you read the article on No contact from the site? You can find it
HERE. It helped me enormously in considering my reason for going no contact and what my true motives were. When I knew that I was in the right head space to go through with this for the right reasons is when I implemented NC. Mistakes can be made by not putting this level of thought in and jumping into NC for the wrong reasons, which frankly can make matters worse.
Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing. I'd be interested to know if you decide the NC is for you and how you get on either way. It's very hard to take that step and what I found was the decision and initially launching into it was the toughest part as fairly quickly the benefits to myself began to show themselves. Sometimes we just need a little help reaching that starting point and it sounds like your therapist is providing you with that help and encouragement. They are also hearing all the downsides of not breaking that link so I'm guessing there are some impacts that outweigh any benefit of remaining in contact. Let these things be the things to spur you on. Good luck!
So pleased to hear about the dog by the way!
Love and light x