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Author Topic: Hypochondriac  (Read 392 times)
beads

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 4


« on: November 16, 2017, 04:48:59 AM »

My mother with BPD has always been a huge hypochondriac, running to the emergency room all the time.  I haven't seen this mentionned as a symptom of BPD.   Does this occur often with BPD? I also see myself getting hysterical whenever I have a physical ailment; it triggers a panic attack.  I'm assuming this is just a learned behavior.  Does anyone else experience this, and if so, do you have any suggestions about dealing with it?
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HappyChappy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1607



« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2017, 05:39:02 AM »

Hi Beads,
Considering a BPD likes to be centre of attention, and will have learn’t from childhood that being ill is one way to get this, I would imagine this is more prevalent within those with BPD. Add to the fact most BPD struggle with anxiety of all different sort.

We do pick up fleas from our parents, but the good new for you is that you are capable of re-framing this, changing.  You may just have picked up on the high anxiety, because if you were a hypochondriac I would have expected you to be talking about the illness you are convinced you have.  If you are, I’d go to the Dr about the hypochondria. If not , grounding yourself works well for me. Find some trusted friends (or Therapists) and they will help with ground and more. I  hope that helps. 
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Wilde.
Panda39
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462



« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2017, 06:44:33 AM »

My Significant Other's (SO's) undiagnosed BPD ex-wife, has always been really weird around health issues.

For herself she always has symptoms that don't seem connected or she thinks is some kind of genetic disorder (then it's her genes fault) or is something that is kind of subjective (no test that confirm or rule out) that her description of symptoms gets her diagnosed with.  During their marriage, my SO has mentioned many Emergency Room visits, some where also drug seeking, and some have been for suicide threats.

With her daughters she can be overly concerned... .you have a stomachache on Monday, oh you poor dear you better stay home all week! She can also be neglectful... .you have a toothache well that's gonna have to wait 3 months! (While she scheduled, cancelled, re-scheduled, re-cancelled, changed dentists, scheduled with them... .you get the picture).

In terms of your anxiety around illness, I agree with Happy Chappy this is most likely fleas (behaviors you have learned from your mom).  When you are having this anxiety, what are you thinking?  Try and be mindful and tap into the logical side of your brain.  Be aware that you are anxious, ask your self why are you feeling anxious, think about your "why" is is rational?  If it's not rational can you let it go?  If the anxiety is rational, is you anxiety level appropriate?  What are some things you think you could do to lower your anxiety?

You most definitely are not alone with the hypochondria behaviors you see in your mom.

Panda39
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
Fie
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Relationship status: Single
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« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2017, 02:41:55 PM »

Hello Beads 

I relate.
My mum (BPD) doesn't have this, but I had, as a child. I was terrified that my mum would die, or that I'd get cancer or so. Sometimes I got so scared that even a small headache convinced me that I had cancer.

My mum had a friend who died (from cancer) and I was confronted with this as a young kid, so I guess that didn't help.

On the other hand I think it was part of a more general problem. During a certain period I had OCD as a kid. Also one of the possible manifestations of anxiety. I became less anxious growing up, although anxiety didn't leave me. As a grown up I still had it.

Now I am not really anxious anymore, except that I sometimes fear that something bad will happen to my child. Even just now, my daughter is with her dad (we are not together) and I got this terrible feeling that something happened to her. I phoned and of course everything was ok.  I really should find a way to deal with that better.
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BLOOMood

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« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2017, 12:33:13 AM »

I absolutely believe that my UBPD MIL takes it beyond even being a hypochondriac, but even has munchausen sydrome and even munchausen’s by proxy (with my husband when he was growing up).

She is ALWAYS sick, according to her. I catch her forgetting what she has told us about her latest medical emergency all the time. When  questioned, she quickly changes the subject. When my husband hasnt given her enough attention or called her frequently enough, she will suddenly be sick and need a major medical test and its always an emergency! I have tons of digestive issues, and had to have upper and lower endoscopy and colonoscopy. She couldnt let anyone else get attention for being sick () and within weeks she said her Dr ordered her to have an “emergency colonoscopy”! It never happened. It got a worried response from my hubby, so that is all she wanted. If we ask her about illnesses days or weeks later, she never actually went to the Dr or had the test and then forgets the story she told us. She has the worst fake cough I’ve ever heard, and will literally cough for 5 minutes straight after calling my husband on the phone. Its all about getting his attention.

She says that she had stage 4 cervical cancer when my husband was 10 years old, ( she is now 72) and that its a miracle that she is alive. If she had stage 4, it would have spread. Stage 4 cancer is almost always terminal, and means that it has spread to other organs, which it didnt in her case, so that is a lie. My husband believes that she did have cancer, and that she just is confused about the stage, but he was just a kid and he only knows what he was told.  He was at school while she was at thr Dr office, and nobody has access to her medical records. At the time of her supposed cancer, they conveniently moved across the country to live with her other son and his new wife. She says its because the best cancer dr in the country was there, but the city she moved away from has a world renowned  cancer center that is considered best in the country. It doesnt add up. She has mooched off of whoever she can rather than getting a job her entire life, so I believe that being deathly ill was a way that her son and dil couldn't say no to her ( and my 10 yr old hubby) living with and being supported by them. She had a major falling out with that son during or after living with him, and it was severe enough for him not to speak to her for 20 years. He recomnected shortly before taking his own life a few years ago. I have always wondered if he found out that she was lying about having cancer. We will never know.

She also convinced my husband (now 34 yrs old) that he had severe asthma and other illnesses that he was not diagnosed with, and kept him from participating in sports or any normal things that boys do, even though he is a big tall strong guy and was always an athletic kid. She would not let him play basketball even though the coach begged her. She blamed his asthma. I have asthma myself, and asked him why he never took preventative asthma medicine like I did. He admitted that he never remembered being diagnosed by a Dr. With asthma!

As he got older, one semester in HS he got very sick. No Dr. could figure out what was wrong with him, but she wouldn't let him go back to school. He finished with “homeschool” and later got his GED, but I believe she was intentionally giving him medicine he didnt need and putting iseas of illnesses in his head. The whole time he was “ too sick” to go to school, but not to sick to work amd pay their bills. It was only a short time that he was actually very ill, but she speaks about it to this day as if he was an invalid for years.  His mother has never worked and felt it was beneath her to get a job. She kept him as a slave to her until I met him and he is a fully functioning grown man now. He is afraid of taking medicines even prescribed by Drs, such as antibiotics, which i find very interesting. I think his mom was over medicating him and that is the only thing that made him sick.
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