Ongoing relationship

[Twice divorced]

Hi, I am 10 months into  relationship with a woman I consider to suffer from bi polar, she is in denial, and I am struggling, I am left feeling the relationship is one sided, feeling mostly unloved despite her assurances, she finds emotional and sexual intimacy difficult, has very few friends, is also agrophobic, claustrophobic, vegetarian, and lived a highly structured life, doesn’t like crowds, belittles anything I do that does not involve her, mood swings, but I don’t know exactly which mental dissorder she suffers from, she says just anxiety!   Oh and sleep problems, I want to make this work, but it wears me out and left feeling that I am being used

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Twice divorced,

Welcome to the family! I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with your partner. For years I knew something seemed "off" with my partner but I could never pin it down. I am still not entirely clear, but finding this site helped to feel more supported and be more at peace with things. I hope by engaging with the community here by posting, sharing and supporting each other you can have more peace as well.

Does she seem to have the traits of BPD in addition to all else you've mentioned here? It can definitely be exhausting, but you may find that some of the communication tools here can help you improve the interactions, or at least not make things worse! It is not easy, but I hope you are able to feel more equipped for these challenges.

Have you read about being an emotional caregiver? https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=173897.0 This and many other things here may help you gain more perspective. I know it has helped me clear up a lot of confusion and give me a lot of hope - at least on most days.

wishing you the best, pearlsw.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi Twice divorced,

I'm sorry that you are experiencing difficulty in your relationship. Regardless of whether your W has bipolar, BPD, or another mental health disorder it sounds like it is causing you pain. Our lesson on Understanding Your Partner's Behavior might help you.

When she has issues of withdrawing or mood swings how do you respond to her?