A. She had fits of rage when our daughter would not co-operate with her instructions, we used to argue about it to the extent where I would take my daughter away from her. I mentioned this in counselling and she completely freaked out and went into a panic attack. The counsellor had to perform a 20 minute breathing exercise to get her back into her body. I have thought about going back on my own to ask what she thought of the situation. I think that's great advice.
I hope you do follow through with at least one additional appointment with that particular counselor. It could be helpful to write out a list of things you want to ask the counselor in advance of an appointment (and perhaps prioritize them). It's so easy to get nervous and forget your thoughts during a session.
Whether you might decide to continue with that particular counselor with ongoing counseling for yourself, it could be beneficial for you to find some counselor that you feel comfortable with and who is suited to your particular situation.
It has to be really tough for you being far away from your family of origin. I can understand how heartbreaking the split has been for you. You mention she has a lot of hot, then cold emotions. Has your ex, or her mother, ever been treated for any mental conditions, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar or other conditions? Just wondering, as BPD or strong BPD traits rarely stand alone. Usually, there is something going on. The panic attack your ex had during the counseling appt. could suggest an anxiety disorder.
Unfortunately, you have no power to make your ex get treatment. You indicate that your daughter was not born in your country of origin. It's good that you indicate that you have been co-parenting your daughter amicably. Should that change, and your ex gives you a hard time about your parenting time, do you have any legal recourse?
Let us know how thing go.
