Welcome Rizz

I'm sorry that you are feeling so much hurt from your relationship. Has she ever left before when she says she wants a divorce?
We have great lessons on the right side of the page that might help you find new ways of communicating with your wife. They can help you diffuse the situation and allow you to find a place of emotional balance in the midst of her chaos. The
Tools; communication validation and reinforcement of good behavior might help.
I'd like to second what
Qman said. Sometimes our pwBPD just needs to know that we are really hearing them and
validation is a great way to practice that.