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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Girlfriend scared of intimacy
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Topic: Girlfriend scared of intimacy (Read 977 times)
nevereverends
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 4
Girlfriend scared of intimacy
«
on:
January 01, 2018, 06:09:57 PM »
I find that once my girlfriend has spent several nights with me, she inevitably finds some excuse to leave so she can be alone by herself. After a number of days alone, she will come running back. I find this to be rather unnerving, as this cycle repeats itself each week. I've talked to her about it, and she claims that she has trust issues, yet I'm starting to wonder if she also has a fear of intimacy as well. She refuses to get help, so how do I deal with this other than walking away from the relationship?
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formflier
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: Girlfriend scared of intimacy
«
Reply #1 on:
January 01, 2018, 06:33:24 PM »
So... .why not encourage her to take the space... .be proactive about it. Use the time apart to enjoy yourself and let her enjoy herself.
As you said... she comes back.
I totally see how this could be unnerving if unplanned... .
So... plan for it. This is who she is.
Thoughts?
FF
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Cat Familiar
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Posts: 7502
Re: Girlfriend scared of intimacy
«
Reply #2 on:
January 01, 2018, 09:51:33 PM »
Hey I’m not BPD, but I needed alone time when I was dating my husband.
So this is something that would make you think about walking away from the relationship?
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“The Four Agreements 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. ” ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Lucky Jim
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Re: Girlfriend scared of intimacy
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Reply #3 on:
January 02, 2018, 10:03:02 AM »
Hey neverever, If she is an Introvert like me, she may require time alone to regroup and recharge her batteries, which is no reflection on you. Agree w/FF: give her the space and, in the meantime, plan things to do on your own that you enjoy. Time apart can enhance the time together, in my view.
LuckyJim
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