Wife moved out after 3 weeks or marriage

[Husband321]

Well  from speaking to her ex, and info that would slowly come out from her, she had 2 children with her ex at a young age. When she was 20 and 22. Stay at home mom until 30.

During this marriage  to her ex  he said she left him about 40 times. .  Would move in with a different man she just met.  Sometimes have an abortion then come back.   A few times move out of state.  Just up and leave her kids and husband, but then always go back.  Finally he filed for divorce,but I also found out while dating and "in love" with me, she was seeing him and telling him the same even after they were divorced.  Until he finally moved with the kids across the country.  Then she married me.

So the pattern continued with me.  Any stress she runs. Then begs to come back. I never saw her with another man, but this time I did.  Now she sends me hateful emails that I don't respond to.

its basically the same thing her mom did to her. She kept coming and going throughout her childhood.

So I think she views her ex husband and I as "bad" and smears us. But it is very hard to have a marriage where someone leaves or threatens to weekly. And I do think she always needs something "new". Routine is boring to her.  She claims that's what she wants  (she always picks guys with children that are stable), but once she gets it she is completely bored.

I would say even during our "mini breaks" she just has a different appearance and look in her eye. 100 percent no feelings whatsoever about me, my son, our marriage etc. just totally empty.  Nothing to say at all.  No tears. No anger. I don't think she even understood how hurtful this is.  


Then when she would come back just an expression of total and complete admiration and love. She would admit it was all her fault, and promise promise promise to change. And be the best wife ever etc.  this would last for about 3 weeks.  We tried tying it to her menstrual cycle.  

Then she would start with weed and alcohol.  But in the meantime also grooming new guys on the internet.  

So it was just completely out of control.

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What are you thinking to do now?  It's 10 months.

[formflier]

Husband321,

Hey... .I have a better idea of what you are going through based on posts over on legal.

It would mean a lot to me and to others on "Conflicted and Tolerating" if you could give us an update. 

If you could spend some time being open with us about how you have worked through your conflict over the relationship, I think that could be useful for others.

Thanks...

FF