First post-- into the abyss

[msgtv]

Well here we are.  Thirty five years of living with a spouse with severe BPD.  Whew!  Wish I had found you guys sooner!  

Started seeing a therapist a year ago this time for me.  When I told her I had been living with a spouse with BPD her jaw hit the ground!  Had me worried for a bit!  

I figure the fact we use medical cannabis and the fact she has sought treatment over the years, is, I think the reason we have been together so long without one of us being dead by now!  But that has cost me --  me!
Been working to find out who I am and what I want out of life.  Just finished reading stop walking on eggshells again and am struck by how much still applies.  That part about not having relations because of one excuse or another or being driven away by her BPD powered accusations and violence.  It's been so long if she did suggest it I could not respond.  Her treatment of me over the years kinda killed any desire I might have.

I now find myself with the choice of staying or going and going is looking better all the time.

I finally figured out what I want for whats left of my life.  I want to write and i want to roll around with a Gal who just wants to have fun and not sweat the small stuff!

I found someone who fits the bil but that was a couple of years ago and although we are friends now I think I may have missed the boat so to speak.

Anyway thats it for now.  We shall see what tomorrow brings!

PS 2 reasons I stayed so long.   I didnt know what to do and at the same time too scared to do anything for fear of an eruption.  Catch 22!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

Well here we are.  

Yes indeed... .here we are. 

I want to assure you, you have found a safe and helpful place to learn more about some very confusing things in your life.  I'm sure you would agree... .sometimes this BPD thing is like talking to someone with a foreign language.


Listen... if you look the the right side of the page there is a "choosing the path" thing.  Click on that, look around.  Make notes of surprising things... questions... .things where you are like "dang straight!

Post some of those things here... .it will help us get to know you and guide you.

Few suggestions:

1.  Make sure you have privacy to get on here.  Not going to be good for your pwBPD (your person with BPD) to find you on her talking...

2.  Log on and post a time or two a day.  I think after a week or two you will have a better idea how we can help.

Looking forward to getting to know you!   

Last question:  What issue do you expect help with by posting on this site?  Can you describe that in 2 sentences?

FF

[Henry II]

Oh my, I read this and thought I wrote it. You are not alone. Go to youtube "The Little Shaman" She tells it like it is. Good luck.