She’s with someone else. I’m certain of it.

[JNChell]

I have been dreading this day. I’m shaking so bad I can barely type. I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. What is this? How can a person have this effect on me? I feel so used up and lied to. I caught on to it when I met her to drop off our Son. Without going into every small detail, I know. She was lying about it. Wouldn’t look me in the eye. I haven’t seen her for 2 weeks. She’s starting to gauge her ears. She’s 31 with 2 kids and is now deciding to stretch out her ear lobes? I’m sorry. I just feel pretty destroyed right now. I was so weak in front of her. I was shaking really bad, my voice was trembling and I couldn’t keep my breath. I just wish all of this would go away.

[Harley Quinn]

I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling.  This sounds like it has come as a shock and is clearly really painful for you.  Do you think you have been hoping to repair the r/s?  Let us know how you are doing today.

Love and light x

[JNChell]

No repairing anything.  Like I said. My family is done. It wasn’t shocking. Just hard to handle. I’m fine. I’m currently staying at a good place. Just a little sad over everything. I don’t know HQ. It hurts knowing that she is laying with someone else while our Son is with me. It feels like I’m only here to watch over our creation while she runs. It’s hard enough losing her.

[JNChell]

We were supposed to raise him together, and I’m not okay with the fact that we aren’t.

[JNChell]

I miss the moments when she, the kids and I were all in cinque. I’ve seen it. I know it can happen. It just never lasted for very long.

[FindingMe2011]

I have been dreading this day. I’m shaking so bad I can barely type. I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. What is this?

Read this, and it was like deja-vu. Spent 2 days in the fetal position on my living room floor... .I feel ya, and know, this too will pass... .For me... .it was my own childhood trauma, i had spent a lifetime, putting bandages on... .haunting me, once more

How can a person have this effect on me?

Truth is, they dont have this power, unless this is what you choose to do... .Many feed into the fairytale... .that one person has the key to another's happiness

I just wish all of this would go away.

No magic pill at this point, especially with kids involved... .Can only guarantee that progress will only be seen, when you decide to, work on YOU... .

I miss the moments when she, the kids and I were all in cinque. I’ve seen it. I know it can happen. It just never lasted for very long.

Yep... .and as time passed, these brief moments, became even more fleeting, as the cycles become sooner... .as the illness dictates... .I wish you well, PEACE

[JNChell]

Thanks *BeenThereB4*. I needed that.

[heartandwhole]

JNChell,

I’m sorry. That is hard news to take. My breakup with pwBPD was like no other breakup I had been through. I can understand your reaction.  

If you are like me and many of us here, your body and mind need time and nurturing to get back in balance. It does take time, but things DO get better. They did for me, and they can for you, too.

Can you take some time out just for you when she has your son? Are friends and family supportive and there for you?

heartandwhole

[JNChell]

heartandwhole. I’ve got a good support group around me. I can’t talk too much about it with the exception of a couple that understand. I plan on starting to work out again and I’m waiting to hear back from a psychologist that I contacted yesterday to get my intake set up. I got some potentially good news today that I posted on the parenting board, so I feel hopeful about that. Right now I have trouble staying focused enough to read a book. This site and other articles have been about it. I will try to focus on myself more. I know I should. I’m starting to feel a bit stupid for all of the focus and attention that is now being wasted on her. There’s nothing there to focus on anymore. Thanks for reaching out. I appreciate it.

[Jeffree]

Ah, yes... .the ol' can't look you in the eye thing.

I remember that one.

That first night when she came home last July 4th weekend and was incommunicado until I texted her and she said she was coming home Sunday night, then it became Monday, then something happened and then it was Tuesday... .

Finally comes home and for the first time in my life with her, she couldn't look me in the eyes.

I thought, "Hmmm, that's weird. She's been elusive all weekend, quiet since coming home, and can't look me in the eye?"

I figured something was up, but had no idea what it could be.

Later in the middle of the night I get up to pee at 3 a.m. She's having a hushed conversation in her bedroom.

Again I think, "Hmmm... .that's weird also." Because this is a woman who is always loud in everything, especially on the phone.

I check her cell phone history in the family plan I pay for. I reverse look up the phone number that she's had six hours of conversations with that day. It's the only number she's called outside her usual times. It was a guy who I am not familiar with across the country.

I figure there has to be some significance to the amount of conversations being had.

I confront her by texting her, "I highly suggest you spend less time talking with XXXXXX and more time cleaning up your messy rooms."

Her reply was "Lol!"

Two weeks later she moved out leaving me, her bio kids, and her pets behind.

Because I was spying on her.

The only difference between my overall reaction and others here is that I wanted her out of my life so much that I welcomed the help of anyone and anything that could get her out.

I know it sucks to have your entire life turned upside down for any reason, let alone a replacement person. But at least your journey to bigger and better things has begun.

Good luck! We're here for you.

J

[JNChell]

Did she ever come back for her kids? That’s insane! I know that you wanted her gone, but I can’t imagine how it would’ve felt to know that when you two were still together. My ex and I have been split since the end of October and I reacted poorly. Right in front of her. I gave her all of the cards. Man, I hope that journey has begun. Thanks!

[Jeffree]

She stops by unannounced into my house to see the kids and pets when it’s convenient for her, like when she has a salon or nail appointment in the area. She has usually kept it to times when I’m at work, but I get forewarned by d21, if there’s a chance I’ll see her. I can always turnaround and wait until she’s gone. Last time I did that was the night “we”, or so I thought she and the kids, were supposed to buy an Xmas tree and decorate it in my house. I guess she wanted me to be a part of that family tradition, but silly me figured there was no way she’d want me to be a part of that seeing how much she hates me.

Also, I used to tell her to please go find someone else to take this bullbleep from her. I’d love to know there’s someone else out there as stupid as me. She knew I was done with her antics... .hence asking for separate bedrooms.

J

[Pencil sketch]

I feel for You. Mine told me about her new flame, and even went as far to give me a blow by blow account, of the physical side of their relationship, I felt sick
She came back, and I kept saying, I hope all is well, with your newr/s, I suppose in a way to maintain the moral high ground, and she told me, it was all in my head, and that it was a product of my sick twisted mind, and then proceeded to tell Me, it was all a lie, to cause pain.
When I mentioned, I had a date, she went off on one, accusing me of sleeping around, and disrespecting her.
They know, exactly what to do, to cause us suffering, I hope you are healing my friend, it's a dreadful experience.

[JNChell]

Yeah. I don’t have a lot of compassion for her at this point.