BF tells me to leave. Son pushes me out door.

[Meili]

Can you tell us how the SET communication went? As in what you said to him. We may be able to help you come up with a different way of saying the same thing to get a different type of response.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Calmcollected]

This wasn’t the best
This was after letting him know that woman contacted me and told me “he was all mine, he has a funny idea of dating”
“I love you despite this. It doesn’t go away just because I’m upset. You were hurt and went back on that site because you thought I left you. I didn’t leave. You would t even talk about it. We can avoid this miscommunication in the future if we go to couples counselling. It teaches each of us to hear and talk to each other. Please stop telling women I’m your book keeper and I’m terrible at math. I didn’t realize how empty you were inside that you can’t admit to people we were in a relationship. ”
Response “I’m not and won’t be, you just can't stay out of my life can you“

After he had verbally told me he couldn’t talk because he had to find a movie disc that wasn’t scratched to watch a movie, a direct dig at me taking my modem for the internet. “I really do love and care about you that’s why I did the invoice last night. You’re really angry about me taking the modem. You weren’t at fault, you defended me. This is about (his son), not you. I was disrespected by (his son)and after that assaulted. It’s not the first time and I can’t continue giving him things for bad behaviour. I’ve been good to him and never stood up to him before. He needs to know there are consequences for your actions or he will end up in jail. I care about your boy and see him going the wrong way. When you put a boundary up with (his daughter, suspect BPD) and called the police on her, she smartened up, got jobs and is now in college. You did the right thing and gave her a wake up call. If he gets his SIN card and gets a job, we can look at this. Im wiling to take him and go to (local employment agency) with him because I know he is scared to go on his own to get a resume done and start applying for jobs. That’s how much I care, even though I know he is extremely angry”
He didn’t respond to this one, but when he doesn’t, I know he’s usually taking it in.

This one wasn’t the best either, but I’m trying.
“I made mistakes too. I’ve been reading books about PTSD and they said I was talking to you in a way that made you feel unsafe, unloved and not respected. I totally take responsibility for that and I’m sorry. I’ve been teaching myself how to change that.
You have always felt empty and that everyone leaves you. That must be an awful way to always feel. You feel I control you because of the money situation and by always stepping in to help, you feel out of control.
If we went to counselling together it would improve all aspects of our life and we could have a good life together.  (his older brother) is finally happy and we could be too. I am a nice person that makes mistakes. You’re a nice person too. I don’t want to leave. I only will if you push me away. I can’t stay and continue with the business if you are with someone else. It would break my heart every day.”

His response “again you put this on me... .please leave me alone and stop being a stalker and stop messaging me”
I would ask him a to do something for the business and ask if he had a chance to do it and he wouldn’t reply, but if I asked him verbally by phone, he would tell me.
After the last response I sent this “I love you Gregg for all the reasons I listed before. You are hurt, angry and thought I had left. This isn’t your fault at all. I made mistakes in the way I handled things. I’m asking for a chance to make things right.”
This was a day later and I asked him for help with my mom because they were installing a tub surround and needed advice on what to do. I asked if he could call her to give them instructions on how to install it. He didn’t answer or my phone call so I sent him a message saying she was going to call his friend.

His response “   your so f$#{€£}    call (friend of his contractor who he had accused me of checking out, I wasn’t he has amazing tattoos and I was looking at them) and never message me again...

Me “Let’s set up an appointment then to transfer everything over then.”
He sends a thumbs up, I said Monday anytime from 11-4 he said he would contact me with a time. I sent this “No matter what happens BPD, I love you. I will do what you want and need at this time. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. I didn’t mean to put it on you. I was trying to fix things and I just made it worse. I’m sorry.
Nothing today.