Returning Spouse

[JasonBreed]

I was a member here a couple of years ago, but had some serious medical / health issues that I had to overcome for myself.  I'm healthy now, but living the nightmare of being with a BPD wife.  Am looking to get back into this group for support.  Thanks.

[FindingMe2011]

What exactly, are you looking for, as far as the r/s is concerned? Congrats on over coming health issues... .Have things change from a couple of yr ago? I wish u well, PEACE

[JasonBreed]

I was to the point of leaving/divorcing wife when the medical hit.  Of course, since I needed assistance at home, it just fed her BPD, and her behaviors did, to some degree, lessen... .  But now that I have full, actually better health, her BPD is in full glory > rage.  I cannot go on with this.  This group was very instrumental / supportive in the past.  I just need that external "vent" capability... . 

[FindingMe2011]

I was to the point of leaving/divorcing wife when the medical hit.

So is leaving your desire now?... .For me, I spent 8 out of 12 yrs, with these same thoughts... .I later learned my codependency issues, kept me in the r/s... .not the many excuses, I could justify... .You appear to be tip toeing around this question... .I did the same thing... .I truly believe on a subconscious level, i understood, that living with BPD, was less painful, than dealing with my own issues... .I was proven correct

Of course, since I needed assistance at home, it just fed her BPD, and her behaviors did, to some degree, lessen... .

Confusing... .how helping you, equates to feeding BPD, is puzzling?in fact, I find this remarkable that BPD, kept this up for 2 yrs, and you also say the behaviour, has gotten better?

But now that I have full, actually better health, her BPD is in full glory > rage.  I cannot go on with this

Is it possible, that now you have become healthier, your view on the r/s has changed? BPD is its own illness... .Your physical health is not going to determine its course... .but your mental health will... .Again, you speak of not going on with this, yet an executive decision, is not being made... .Maybe your not ready to make this decision? There is no right or wrong, just is, and no need to leap... .educate yourself, then decide

This group was very instrumental / supportive in the past.  I just need that external "vent" capability... .

Maybe post on the staying board? Leaving or remaining in the r/s, has 2 distinctive views on these r/s... .they are self defeating to each other... .I wish u well, PEACE