I'm tired of feeling scared

[Faith77]

Hi all,
I'm Faith77 and I just found out about this group. My husband seems to fit the category of having BPD and, quite frankly, I'm tired of feeling scared, being filled with doubt and feeling as if I'm a failure in my marriage. I'm reading "Stop Walking on Eggshells" in order to learn to do just that. I'm hoping to gain strength as well as offer it to others that are dealing with the same issue.

Thank you.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

 
Faith77,



I'm so sorry you are having to learn about BPD, although in some ways it will likely come as a relief.  Sometimes having a name on an thing helps... .and it definitely helps to find other people that have gone through this.

I'm an ambassador here and it's my job to kinda "show you around" and help you get settled.

Please look to the right.  Click on "choosing a path". Do some reading.  Post your thoughts about what you have read.

I advise making sure your browsing activity here is private.

So... .can you post about more details of your marriage.  Perhaps describe the last argument.  Let me guess... .it's a recurrent issue that seems "unsolvable", even though you have made many attempts to solve it?

   

Looking forward to getting to know you.  You've found a safe place.

FF

[pearlsw]

Hi Faith77,

Glad to have you here with us... .As a community member here I am so glad to hear that you not only want to get support but also offer it to others - that is really generous and can be very healing for you as well. I find that talking these issues over helps me do better and be more mindful in my own life and careful in how I interact with my "h".

What is making you feel like a failure in your marriage may I ask? What things are you currently doing to regain your strength?

wishing you peace, pearl.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Faith77,  Welcome!  No, you're not a failure.  You're human, like the rest of us who have faced the enormous challenge of BPD.  It's normal to feel scared or have doubts in a BPD marriage.  That you are acknowledging your feelings is a positive step forward.  The place to start, I suggest, is with yourself, by treating yourself with care and compassion.  What are your gut feelings?  What would you like to see happen?

LuckyJim