Is There An Average Time?

[Willingtolearn]

Once one relationship breaks up and the pwBPD enters the next one, has anyone figured how long it takes for the new relationship to go sour ?

Or like everything else,this is something that can't be worked out. I suppose there is no average time limit on any relationship.  Or is there for a pwBPD ?

[savreina]

For me the relationship barely made it to 2 months & before she even got out of the relationship she came back to me... but that’s just from the first recycle idk what’s gonna happen this time around

[Maxpax2011]

There is never a set time. Just depends on who they are with and how long the next one will put up with the drama. First big break up we had, she dated a guy for 6 weeks then came back. Next time she dated a guy for two weeks then came back. This last time we broke up was for good it looks like. I left couldn't take the drama anymore. About a month after I left she dated a guy for a few weeks then started with another one who is her current partner. They have been dating for about 3 months. He moved into the house recently too. From what I heard they started fighting less than a month in and it is still ongoing. But they are still together last I heard. They will always be who they are no matter who they are with. It depends on the severity of the BPD symptoms and how often they are triggered. My ex was high functioning but was easily triggered. Within a few weeks the red flags start popping up. It will just depend on how long the new partner will tolerate it. But rest assured it will sour sooner or later. Her longest relationship was five years and that guy only stayed as long as he did because they had a kid. He got Her pregnant three months in. Her previous marriage lasted less than a year. I lasted two. Another guy somewhere in there lasted two or three. Then there were several that lasted a few weeks to a few months. 

[RDMaggie]

It's difficult to predict any relationships longevity, circumstances and people change.

My BPD friend has had several long term relationships. She recycled with one of them, the rest ended on such a negative note there was either no desire from her to reconnect or the individual she was seeing took measures to ensure NC was possible.

Historically, every person she has ever dated has been eternally deamonized. I brought up her HS boyfriend (think 16 years ago) who she never more than kissed and she wished death upon him, to this day.

[Mutt]

I agree with the above posts r/s’s are complicated everyone is a different person with different backgrounds and react differently. Can you think about your r/s’s where they all different? I dated mostly women with BPD traits but the last one was way more intense and that r/s brought me closer to the truth BPD. All of my r/s’s were different though some didn’t last look long and some were a lot longer.

Are you asking because you feel hurt and you want the r/s to collapse or I’d ghere a part of you that’s still attached and want to recycle the r/s?

[Maxpax2011]

It's difficult to predict any relationships longevity, circumstances and people change.

My BPD friend has had several long term relationships. She recycled with one of them, the rest ended on such a negative note there was either no desire from her to reconnect or the individual she was seeing took measures to ensure NC was possible.

Historically, every person she has ever dated has been eternally deamonized. I brought up her HS boyfriend (think 16 years ago) who she never more than kissed and she wished death upon him, to this day.

Same thing with this most recent EXBPD I dated, all her exes cheated, were abusive, mistreated her, etc. Then after I left she did the same to me, told people I was stalking her, said I cheated, I mistreated her, and even went a step further and had the new partner contact me to harass me. Of course after the break up I found out a lot about her that contradicted how she portrayed her exes. She cheated on one and left him for another, and when she started dating this new guy she was contacting me for sex, so I think that is actually one of the traits of the BPD, to demonize all past lovers and play the victim. When we dated she told me one of her exes was stalking her, the same one I later found out she cheated on and left for another guy, so again, same story all around. I also realized that all her exes are on her Facebook which I found creepy considering she trashes all of them.

[Maxpax2011]

For me the relationship barely made it to 2 months & before she even got out of the relationship she came back to me... but that’s just from the first recycle idk what’s gonna happen this time around

Mind if I ask how the last break up went? How long has she been with the new one? Any triangulation or head games leading up to it? How would you describe her BPD symptoms? How were you able to get her to come back the first time? Sorry for the questions just interesting how all our stories are similar, wondering how yours ended compared to mine.