Has anyone else had a similar experience with BPD Catholics?

[AustenJ]

When I first met my Catholic diagnosed BPDgf, she felt very guilty (Catholic guilt in regards to saving sex until after marriage) after her impulsive and reckless week-long tryst with me. This sinful lustful week happened about two weeks before she was to go to confession with her priest. She was an emotional wreck leading up to it. I thought I had lost her before she had even given our relationship a chance... .I imagined that the the priest's penance would be for her to wait until after marriage to have sex and that I was somehow the devil. I thought for sure our relationship was over. (in retrospect, wishful thinking on my part) Not being Catholic myself, and since she appeared so dedicated to her faith,I presumed that the normal reaction would be to go back to her celibate self. (Obviously, I know now she has never been celibate a day in her life)

But instead of doing perhaps the "normal" thing expected of Catholic faithful, she did the exact opposite with her "clean slate." We began a torrid relationship that lasted 5 months before she inexplicably discarded me for a sexual vacation with an ex before moving on to the "one."

She reached out to me after about 9 months of LC; she was seriously involved with the "one" and was looking at engagement rings... .she wanted to know if I was interested in a threesome with her and another girl in my hot tub... .she was thinking that she was actually bisexual now... .

I asked when was the last time she was to confession... .and ironically it had been just two days before this hot tub request... .

Has anyone else had a similar experience with BPD Catholics? The Catholic guilt on top of BPD seems like it would be unbearable and may be a part of the abusive, family shaming pwBPD feel... .thoughts? Experiences?  

[Mutt]

Im Catholic but non practicing. A pwBPD lack a stable sense of self and may change jobs frequently, friends sexual orientation. The one speaks out idealization a pwBPD  quickly become attached without treatment the same thing will happen to this new guy it depends on how much he triggers her and what he’s willing to take.

The disorder is not the sum of a person it’s a part of them. I would guess that there would be guilty feelings from the disorder and her faith but the shameful feelings from BOD would probably be more likely no lasting. Think of it this way, BPD shame is constant where a sinful act may trigger shame but for how long? I doubt that it would be something that would be on her mind constantly.

[Bo123]

Didn't have quite the experience you had with the hot tub, but did fly 28,000 miles to ask my fiancee's parents for their daughters hand in marriage and got turned down and relationship ended right then when they already knew I wasn't Catholic.  I had agreed to a be married in a Catholic Church with both their priest and mine, which is allowed in the Catholic religion.  Like her dad told her early on "she was born a Catholic and was going to die a Catholic".  Marrying someone not Catholic was too much of a risk and I didn't get the parents full blessing.  Never saw her since after 3 years of a relationship and the last year engaged.  IMO Catholics are for the most part mind-washed and their schools create a guilt factory that stays with them almost forever.  Not true for all, but the news shows how the Churches have been run, cult-like.

[MeandThee29]

The guilt makes it harder on them IMHO because it increases the shame. Unless they learn to deal with that, they may go into a spiral where they increasingly do things that offend their religious conscience.

[Bo123]

Hard core Catholic + BPD= Disaster 99% of the time.  Statistics, no, my experience and others, yes it's true.

[MeandThee29]

Hard core Catholic + BPD= Disaster 99% of the time.  Statistics, no, my experience and others, yes it's true.

Same with conservative Protestant, IMHO. My therapist pointed that out in discussing my pwBPD.

[Pretty Woman]

I have to side with Mutt on this one... .while religion may be a factor I think this mostly has to do with the overall instability of the BPD. Many of them are bi-sexual or sexually "adventurous". This gives them more supply, more options. They lack a core identity so they tend to fuse with whomever they are with or around at the time. My ex went to church camp and lived in a church, then she was having threesomes, then she lived with a drug dealer and was arrested for theft, then she dated a psychiatrist who had money and was a "kept" woman. She could pretty much morph into any situation... .until she couldn't do it anymore, the psychic pain was too much, then she'd rage, paint black and move on to the next.

Rinse, Wash, Repeat.

I'm Catholic (non practicing) so I get what you are saying, but I don't feel that's a complete picture. Could it aid in their guilt, sure but things other than religious beliefs can also cause the same reactions, in my experience.

[AustenJ]

I'm curious about practicing CatholicswBPD who go to confession... .my ex used confession as a way to purge herself of her sins (i.e. negative coping mechanisms). It was interesting to observe her behavior immediately before and after her confession. If her confession was a week or so out, she would feel guilty about her behaviors and state that she needed to re-connect with God because she was no longer that sinful girl. Immediately after her confession it was like her slate was totally clean and her sins were forgiven... .which with a clean conscience allowed her to get back to her negative coping mechanisms- drinking, vaping, cutting, impulsive, reckless sex.

I was just curious if anyone else saw this binging and purging cycle with confession?