Avoiding leaving my spouse

[#70]

I am discovering that my spouse most likely has BPD and is a product of a narccisist mother. My close circle of friends say I need to leave him at this point as he has also raged on some of them and have seen it but my gut tells me no. And I always trust my gut. He refuses, as always, to acknowledge any of his behaviors and never takes responsibility for any of this actions. He is now going back to school in a few months and is already using this as an excuse to do less and less and not help me out well, with anything. He has also started using religion to hide behind so he has created another false sense of himself by lying even more to others that he is a "God fearing man". I am at a loss as I don't believe what he says about me and I recognize he is projecting his crud onto me. How does one know they are actually trying to make changes? Or am I just in fight or flight mode 24/7?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi #70,

These are indeed not easy decisions! What makes you want to stay? What is your gut telling you now? Do you know much yet about these personality disorders? (BPD/NPD)

There is a lot to learn, and there is hope that by also working on yourself things could potentially be better, or at least not get worse.

This is a good place to dialogue with others who are in similar situations, perhaps your friends are not?

take care, pearlsw.

[Radcliff]

Hello #70, let me join pearlsw in welcoming you!  I'm sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, but am glad you have found us.  This is a supportive community.  Stick around and become a part of it!

How long have you been married?

WW

[Mutt]

Hi #7,



Id like to join the others and welcome you to bpdfamily. It’s the same thing for everyone pwBPD/NPD and non’s he’ll make the effort. For example if he has therapy he’ll go to sessions by his own choice because he wants to change. Don’t listen to his words look at his actions.