Need some support; I am not allowed to see my grandchildren

[Roller skater]

I have read Stop Walking on Eggshells three times.  It has helped me to understand my daughter but it doesn't address the issue of adult children with BPD who prevent their mother from seeing their children. I fear my daughter is poisoning my grandchildren against me.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Roller skater]

How do I find out how to get onto the Grandparent group?  I am interested in connecting with other grandparents whose adult BPD children prevent them from seeing their grandchildren.

Thank you.

[Mutt]

Hi Roller skater,



Id like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry that your being alienated from your grandchildren I can imagine how heartbreaking that would feel  How many grand kids do you have? How old are they? How has it been since you have seen them?

[Merlot]

Hi Roller Skater

I think you are in the right place, I too am a parent of a DD27 with a GD1.  I have been cut out of their life about five weeks ago over a comment asking her to calm down in response to a full blown rage.  She has left the state we are in without saying goodbye, just a txt saying we are dead to her, so I totally understand your devastation and hurt.

I have written my story on this board and the lovely people here have been giving me some wonderful advice about re-engaging.  If and when she is ready to resume a relationship, I'm hoping that I will have learned better skills to potentially mitigate the likelihood of being cut off again.  Rather than re-iterate here, hopefully you can read my thread and the commentary from others; the support and suggestions have been terrific.

Take care of yourself, I've come to understand that it's such an important part of parenting a child with BPD.  Hugs to you

[Yat4]

I'm so sorry. I've been through this many times over the years with my daughter and three grandchildren. It is heart breaking. The first time was the worst and I was worried that I wouldn't see them again until they were grown. She has always eventually had a crisis in her life and reestablished contact. There is the always lingering threats from her that she will take them away forever. I finally just had to realize that I don't have any control over that. I enjoy my time with them while I can and just let everything else go.

If she does contact you again, just be in the mindset of just being there for the kids and enjoy the time you have with them. I'm so sad to see that many of us are going through the same thing and so sorry for the kids.