New to group—the decision to leave or stay is torture.

[rose3tiger]

Thankful to have found this site knowing I’m with others in similar struggles. Husband has BPD, and his Dr. Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde behavior is overwhelming. Don’t want to be with him anymore, but we have kids. The decision to leave or stay is torture. Very strong in my faith, so I know God will lead me. Yet, I have moments like this where I am just fed up and want to get out of the marriage now!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[isilme]

Hi- I have been making use of this site for about 10 years, and while I admit it's been a slow process, I've been able to see an overall decrease in day-to-day drama and if nothing else, it gives me a GOOD place to "talk" to people who know what I am talking about and won't jump to useless advice like,"just leave".  Type away :D  It helps.

[JoeBPD81]

As our wise owl said, things do get better. And we are here to listen and not judge you. We are all in the same boat.

A good number of people here are Christians, and you will find posts where we find comforrt and guidance in the Scriptures.

I'm very sorry you've suffered the Jeckyll/Hide behavior that we are so familiar about. But I'm glad you found us. Can you share a little bit more of your story? How old are your kids? Is your husband diagnosed?

I have two kids (6 & 11), they are not biologicaly mine, but they depend on me staying. I know about the feeling that you must stay, even when you need to leave, even when the best thing is to leave (for a few hours at least).

We all have moments of desperation when we know for sure we can't take it one more day. And then one day we have our forces renewed, and we have hope again. Talking about it helps me a lot. Even when I don't find answers, I know I'm not alone. So many wonderful people are experiencing the same things I do. Incredibly generous, talented and kind people hear the same rejections as I do, so maybe I'm not as bad as my GF paints me, you know?

[pearlsw]

Hi rose3tiger,

Want to list out the reasons to stay and go with us? Talk it out a bit... .

take care, pearl.

[Notgoneyet]

 welcome rose3tiger,
  I'm another newbie ,only been serious w this site for a few days now but the more I read, the more I learn, and share, the better I feel !  I've been married to my BP wife for 35 yrs and have had to struggle to stay married to her more then a few times. My belief in marriage and not wanting my 2 boys  growing up in a broken marriage was driving force for that. My BP wife was is still is an AWESOME Mom to them & some how maintained that even with her BPD struggles. I took a lot of the blame for most of the bad times. Still I have no regrets. knowing now what I now of the illness I have to believe God guided us through the rough times & blessed us w Many Good times. We we're blessed to find a really good BP therapist and am praying I can get her back to her soon.   
     Learned a lot of how to get along much better with my BPw  by reading Stop walking on eggs shells. Prayers to you.