I really can't take this anymore. I need help

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi,
 I really cannot take it anymore. His behaviour is ridiculous. He acts like a stupid petulant baby. I am drowning here. He wallows in self pity and doles out  his infantile punishments. Who does he thinks he is? I am being  driven completely crazy and he is doing it on purpose. There is no way that there is not an endgame for him. He is cold, cruel and manipulative.
When I say that I don't want to be with him anymore he just ups the ante and plays more mindgames.I don't know what to do. I am screaming inside.

[Damaged92]

Hi,
 I really cannot take it anymore. His behaviour is ridiculous. He acts like a stupid petulant baby. I am drowning here. He wallows in self pity and doles out  his infantile punishments. Who does he thinks he is? I am being  driven completely crazy and he is doing it on purpose. There is no way that there is not an endgame for him. He is cold, cruel and manipulative.
When I say that I don't want to be with him anymore he just ups the ante and plays more mindgames.I don't know what to do. I am screaming inside.

[Thea]

I know exactly how you feel. Do you have kids? The biggest reason I am not ending mine right now is the legal problems around children, I'm grasping at every rope that comes my way. I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

[Foursome]

I am so sorry your having to go through this.  We all feel your pain.  Its a terrible thing to experience.

You say you dont know what to do... .I think you do.  I think you also know how hard its going to be to do it.  Trust me on this though.  It wont get better.  It will only get worse.  Save your self from this.

Once you decide to detach don't look back.  He will use every trick in the book to reel you back in to abuse you more.

[Rinzler]

Make a plan for you and your kids. Manipulate him, expect his responses of rage and more manipulation, base yours off of his. YOU are the sane one not him, with all your mental faculties that he likely has worn down its true. But begin to keep a ledger of every single ridiculous fight u live thru for later. So he does not gaslight you later. Make his disgusting mechanisms aid you in your exit of him. And best that piece of fecal matter at his own game.  Make no doubt about it he is collecting prospects if you have announced to him you plan to leave.  If you have not, then even better DO NOT announce it and plan in secret. FLAT LEAVE him and make his effin head twirl.

Put aside all lamentations and understandings of this as a mental illness.  These are malcontent criminals being poorly described by these medical "terms". Emotional vampires with overlapping psychopathy.  Do not misread this at all you are in danger and it just simply will not end well anyway. Make an exit plan. Include him in unknowingly aiding you.
Return your anger tenfold and do not pity them.

[Damaged92]

Dear animalxxxmother, the and rinzler,
You all make valid points and you are right. I know what I need to do. I have tried so many times before only to be confronted with anguished pleas, threats, violence and more. It's hard to find the strength but I need to before it's too late.
D92

[Damaged92]

I posted  a very personal piece detailing some of my life yesterday on this forum but it got moved to bettering a relationship I have no idea why. If you read it can you see why?  I can't see the relevance to that site at all. Things are not getting better and they never will. They never have in all this time. Why should it change now?
D92

[Thea]

check out Ross Rosenberg on youtube. He talks about narcissistic personality disorder. Its helping me tremendously.I am coming to terms with taking the steps. Do what you KNOW you need to do.

[Foursome]

I posted  a very personal piece detailing some of my life yesterday on this forum but it got moved to bettering a relationship I have no idea why. If you read it can you see why?  I can't see the relevance to that site at all. Things are not getting better and they never will. They never have in all this time. Why should it change now?
D92

No they wont get better.  He is mentally ill.  He will only make you ill in some manner or worse.

Dont even say good bye.  That would be my advise.  Dont even let him no your gone.  Let him wonder why.  I know some might think thats cruel because of what it would do to him inside.  Heck with it though.

[Damaged92]

Hi Animalxxxmother,
I think I'm already there. Numerous autoimmune problems. Spinal surgery. Mood slipping. Can't deal with all the spectrums of crazy this man throws at me. And he tries to convince me that it is me who has all the issues. No I'm just the cement that was holding it all together. But now there are too many cracks and it's all crumbling.
I should have followed through with leaving him so many times but lacked the strength.  Twenty six years in a rollercoaster has certainly taken its toll.
D92

[Foursome]

Just remember don’t let him in on it.  Be very careful and be smart.

[Mutt]

Im sorry that you’re going through this. Twenty six years is a long time. What do you do when he’s like me this? Do you mean that he’s emotionally dysregulated when he’s playing head games?

[Damaged92]

Hi Mutt,
I try to control how I react. Don't want to make things worse. Literally walking on  eggshells. It's very difficult because he goads me. Then if I react it's all my fault. I'm the crazy one. He likes to win. He is never wrong. It's always my fault. I cause everything. He over reacts to everything. Once on holiday we missed a train. So his reaction to this was to kick the suitcases up and down the platform. He is a complete hypocrite. He criticises everyone. Only be alone is perfect. He is a control freak. He fixated on things. If everyday unimportant things go wrong he can't handle it and he is very aggressive and violent. I can't deal with it anymore. He cant see that he does anything wrong. It's always someone else's fault. He has no close friends. Apparently that's my fault too. He hinge eats and is overweight and that's also my fault. Everything is on his terms. For a while he appeared more stable. But it never lasts. Given him every chance but can't go on.
D92

[Mutt]

I know how exhausting it can feel when everything’s your fault and you’re their source of soothing because they can’t self sooth. I meant something more like changing the venue when he’s like that go out to the garage and clean the car, go out and run an errand, go for a drive, go for a walk.