Choosing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist is hard and scary.

[Lupine]

I'm new here. I am the daughter of a mom with undiagnosed BPD. I have a daughter who has many traits of BPD. I came here hoping someone can help me in my search for a treatment provider. There is a complicating factor. I have another younger child on the autism spectrum. Having a sibling with autism means the siblings would have more of a chance of being on the spectrum than the general population. I have read multiple accounts of women being misdiagnosed with BPD and later found out they were autistic. My dd with BPD traits also has some traits of autism. I guess there is a possibility of someone having both. I can find people who evaluate and treat for BPD, and I can find people who evaluate and treat for autism, but I can't find someone who has experience in both--to know the difference.

I have to get help for her. It's so much worse now that she's in college. She is very open to getting therapy. She knows she she has traits of both things.

I'm not sure how to navigate these waters.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Lupine

 

Welcome to the community.  You are right BPD is often comorbid. It's great to hear your daughter is open to therapy. What searches have you made so far, who have you spoken with? I'm in the UK, I'm guessing you are in the US. Have you been in touch with NAMI? Let's see what others suggest.

Meanwhile some resources for all.

Family Connections and TeleConnections

Treatment and Research Advancements (TARA)

National Alliance on Mental Illness

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

WDx

[bluek9]

Hi Lupine,

        My daughter is 35, she was in 4th grade when she was diagosed with Asburgers (on Autism spectrum). We suffered terribly through the teenage years. I keep thinking to myself no matter how much I educated myself on her, there had be something more. Well that something more is BPD. She didn't get that diagnosis until she was 30. Then I found out and went WOW, no wonder her behaviors were off the wall.
         I can't say much about finding a therapist who knows about both. My daughter has been in intense therapy twice a week for the last 7 months. It certainly won't fix her, or change her. It does however give her the ability to look at herself in a new light, give her some new tools to communicate with. Right now she is in seperate therapy to help her interact with her son (6) who I am raising. She has been detaching from him for the last 3 years. He too is autistic high functioning verbal. I hate to see her pull away from him because he is to demanding for her.
        Keep looking for a therapist. It's like trying to find the right doctor. You have to go interview them, ask them questions on what modality they use(what their methods are). I'm a drug and alcohol counselor, I use a modality of stright forwardness. I believe everybody has the asnwers to the questions they ask, they just need help with looking inside themselves to find it. No unfortunately that method does not work with BPD. Keep looking.

[wendydarling]

Hi Lupine,

Like bluek9 says, keep looking, take your time, there are brilliant people out there as we found!

Our Turkish shared this conversation of parents with me - https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=21363.0, Not sure if it helps? About to read myself.

WDx