How do you de-stress?

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Having a sibling, family member with BPD/NPD is exhausting and mentally draining.  How does everyone de-stress?  I workout/ run a lot.  I have recently taken up yoga for my mind and spirit!  It really is a great distressed.  I am also blessed with a strong support system:  several close family members, amazing grown kids (one almost grown), awesome friends and an extraordinary "male" friend whom is my rock.  It does help to have enforcements in place.  I have also cut the "toxic" people out of my life, either by my choice or in case of sis she cut me out in December!  I haven't shed a tear or regretted it!

[Pina colada]

Having a sibling, family member with BPD/NPD is exhausting and mentally draining.  How does everyone de-stress?  I workout/ run a lot.  I have recently taken up yoga for my mind and spirit!  It really is a great distressed.  I am also blessed with a strong support system:  several close family members, amazing grown kids (one almost grown), awesome friends and an extraordinary "male" friend whom is my rock.  It does help to have enforcements in place.  I have also cut the "toxic" people out of my life, either by my choice or in case of sis she cut me out in December!  I haven't shed a tear or regretted it!

[heartandwhole]

Hi Pina colada,

Great topic!  I'm a big fan of yoga and meditation, too. Time in nature, and with friends and family. Laughing 

Doing something creative always de-stresses me. I like to write. I'm also learning to play piano, which is something that puts me way out of my comfort zone, but I'm really enjoying it.

heartandwhole

[HappyChappy]

in case of sis she cut me out in December!  I haven't shed a tear or regretted it!

Home goal. I love it when my BPD & NPD give me the silent treatment. Good topic Pina colada. I'm with heartandwhole, it's creative arts for me,  Art and comedy. I used to make good money out of it, but then it was stressful, deadlines etc... .Now I do it for fun and its relaxing, also I can chose the topics.

I workout/ run a lot. 

Walks in nature for me. As soon as I see a jogger smiling, I consider it. (Joan Rivers)

[YouHadMeAtHello]

This is a great topic, Pina colada! 

I don't have the best de-stressing methods currently.  I have been trying to exercise more, but I am only getting real workouts in a couple times a week so far.  I tend to want to drink wine, but I know that isn't a solution so lately I'm trying to avoid alcohol.  Plus, it makes me very tired and I don't like that. 

I agree that creative pursuits are the best.  We are currently finishing our basement so I've spent a lot of time on decorating, picking finishes, etc.  Unfortunately, we aren't yet able to move anything down there so I have a bunch of stuff in my living room that is destined for the basement when it's ready.  I love decorating though. I love looking for the items, arranging everything, etc.  When we're done with our basement it'll be bittersweet.  It's quite stressful in and of itself, but I also really like picking everything out. 

Side note - HappyChappy, I agree, I also love it when my BPD sister gives me the silent treatment.  She probably thinks I'm feeling punished, but it's the opposite, I feel free. 

[Pina colada]

YouHadMe creative pursuits I agree are so exciting!  Decorating is so fun and the accomplishment really feels awesome !  Please keep us posted as to how the basement turns out!  On a side note, my sister posts on another cat forum.  I used to read all the stuff she wrote, mostly exaggerations and lies but I have not read ANYTHING there in over a month!  At the end of the day I just don't care what she says!  My family, friends etc. know the real me!  Sis never did.  Sis is a pathological liar that doesn't know how to tell the truth.  A few years back I gathered a lot of the stuff she wrote about me and my family, all stuff I could prove was lies and took it to my attorney and he said I had a defamation of character suit if I wanted!  It was so tempting but I did not want to upset our dad.  I know it is out there and I have the printouts of some of her lies and I can prove it but right now it is not worth my time and energy.  Life is so great now.  Walking away from her lies feels even better!  Great people in my life and yoga and living happy are all I need!

[Learning2Thrive]

A nice, long bicycle ride or long walk with my dog or a hike. I love adventures that are peaceful and pleasant. Sometimes I really enjoy a long soak in an Epsom salt bath while listening to a guided meditation.

[YouHadMeAtHello]

YouHadMe creative pursuits I agree are so exciting!  Decorating is so fun and the accomplishment really feels awesome !  Please keep us posted as to how the basement turns out!  On a side note, my sister posts on another cat forum.  I used to read all the stuff she wrote, mostly exaggerations and lies but I have not read ANYTHING there in over a month!  At the end of the day I just don't care what she says!  My family, friends etc. know the real me!  Sis never did.  Sis is a pathological liar that doesn't know how to tell the truth.  A few years back I gathered a lot of the stuff she wrote about me and my family, all stuff I could prove was lies and took it to my attorney and he said I had a defamation of character suit if I wanted!  It was so tempting but I did not want to upset our dad.  I know it is out there and I have the printouts of some of her lies and I can prove it but right now it is not worth my time and energy.  Life is so great now.  Walking away from her lies feels even better!  Great people in my life and yoga and living happy are all I need!

I would love to share pictures of the basement when it's done if that's allowed here.  It has been a huge project because our basement was totally unfinished, just a big concrete box.  My husband started the framing in March 2017!  We've done all of the work ourselves except for the drywall because pros are just so much better at that and they had the whole space drywalled in a week.  It would have taken us 5 times as long, at least.  We have a young daughter who is 2.5 and that's definitely slowed things down. We would probably have finished the whole project 6 months ago, but since one of us is always watching our daughter we are going at less than half speed.   

Anyway, Pina colada, I think it's good that you're not worrying about what your sister is saying/posting.  It's so easy to obsess and get all worked up about things that, really, don't matter that much.  I think it's much healthier to let it go.  In that vein, I keep thinking I should delete my facebook account.  I have a fun and fulfilling life, yet when I look at Facebook I feel so tied down and lame. It's just not good for me and all it does is make me feel bad about myself.  So, I should probably get rid of that and stop looking at Facebook entirely. 

[Pina colada]

YouHadMe if you like, I am happy to PM you my email and you can share pictures!  Up to you but I would love to see that.  Must be a bit challenging with your sweet daughter!  Yes it is hard to break away from social media.  It took everything in me to stay away from her conduct disorder forum.  It just got so boring, same stuff, lies, left out details, calling me BPD (I am in therapy and am not BPD/NPD) says the experts.  Lies about everything.  I also noticed a lot of the folks on the forum that had been around as long as she no longer comment on her stuff.  Mostly just new folks so I am sure they are tired of her drama, inconsistencies, boasts etc!

[pbnjsandwich]

Having a sibling, family member with BPD/NPD is exhausting and mentally draining.  How does everyone de-stress?  I workout/ run a lot.  I have recently taken up yoga for my mind and spirit!  It really is a great distressed.  I am also blessed with a strong support system:  several close family members, amazing grown kids (one almost grown), awesome friends and an extraordinary "male" friend whom is my rock.  It does help to have enforcements in place.  I have also cut the "toxic" people out of my life, either by my choice or in case of sis she cut me out in December!  I haven't shed a tear or regretted it!

Nice choices! I started yoga this year and really love it. I meditate as well. That really helps center me. Thanks for sharing!

[YouHadMeAtHello]

YouHadMe if you like, I am happy to PM you my email and you can share pictures!  Up to you but I would love to see that.  Must be a bit challenging with your sweet daughter!  Yes it is hard to break away from social media.  It took everything in me to stay away from her conduct disorder forum.  It just got so boring, same stuff, lies, left out details, calling me BPD (I am in therapy and am not BPD/NPD) says the experts.  Lies about everything.  I also noticed a lot of the folks on the forum that had been around as long as she no longer comment on her stuff.  Mostly just new folks so I am sure they are tired of her drama, inconsistencies, boasts etc!

I'll definitely share pictures as soon as I have something finished.    Right now my entire house is a disaster because of this basement project.  I have 5 stools, an area rug, a projector, a rug pad, a screen, and a ton of decorative accessories and a large painting in my living room.  Oh, and a huge upholstered toy box.  All of it is destined for the basement, but the basement is incredibly dusty and dirty right now.  Currently we're putting polyurethane on the stair treads (and sanding between coats, so more dust).  When that's done we can install them, finally, and we should be done with the super dusty stuff.  We did pretty much finish the wine cellar yesterday.  I just need to clean it (dust, of course) and then I can put wine in there.  I'm excited about the wine cellar because we were able to use a space that would otherwise just be useless or a closet or something.  Plus, I do enjoy wine. 

Anyway, I feel like it would be really tough to not read what your sister is posting, even though you know it's not good for your own mental state.  It's like you want to read it and marvel at the insanity of all of it, but when no one really validates your point of view that is an exercise in frustration.  At least that's how it would be for me. 

I think I might have to try yoga.  I tried it once in college, just an at home video, and I hated it.  But, at that point in time I didn't see any value in trying to de-stress or center myself or anything.  I thought that was all hippy nonsense.  Now though, I know how important stress management is and with my life being how it is, I need it.  So, maybe it's time to try again.  If anyone has any pointers for a yoga newbie, let me know! 

[Kwamina]

Great thread Pina colada!

I exercise too (cardio fitness, interval training), it really helps me clear my mind and let go of tension. Meditation I have found incredibly helpful too, it helps me remain calm and it also further unlocks my Parrot Vision

[Panda39]

I'm in the creative pursuits group 

I'm currently working on a quilt (almost done!) for my SO's D17... .for her 18th Birthday in September.  I start sewing and thinking about the past fades away and worrying about tomorrow fades away... .I'm in the moment... .in the "now".

I also do Volunteer work for my local hospital and sew "Walker Bags".  What the heck is a "Walker Bag" it's something with a lot of pockets that is tied on to a walker so folks rehabing from a surgery have somewhere to put their things that keeps their hands free.

My new pursuit this year has been joining our city's Community Garden with my son (who want's to be a farmer).  It's been a wonderful experience, very peaceful, the people are great, we have been learning lots of things and sharing what we know.  My OCD tendencies have been a bonus... .I am an awesome weeder!  We have created something beautiful, and successful... .now I want to learn "canning" so I can maximize our harvest.

So I guess it's more than just creativity, it's making something useful and it's  making connections with others too. Yes, that is where I find my Bliss.

Panda39

[Pina colada]

Exercise and meditation are awesome!  I am happy you found things that clear your head kwamima.  I am working on meditation although I am very into yoga now, actually catching a class very soon.

Panda39 what wonderful things you are doing for your community!  The Walker Bag sounds very useful an I have never heard of that.  Your SO daughter will love the quilt!  Sewing, knitting, all good!  And weeding, yes, I can see where it would help with OCD! 

[Woolspinner2000]

Exercise is always helpful to me, yet I do it far less than I really wish I would. Walking and weight lifting are great destressors.

I love many creative avenues as well, but find that being outdoors is probably my number one help. I have other activities such as hiking, gardening, archery and black powder shooting that I throroughly enjoy. Those get me out of myself and settle me within. Even sitting on our porch swing soothes me.

If I'm inside the house, I'd say that writing is the best outlet for me and time alone to reflect and process.

[Panda39]

I'm hearing some pioneer spirit with you Wools!  Between us I think we have the skills to homestead  Well, if I can learn "canning" without killing anyone 

Panda39

[Kwamina]

I have other activities such as hiking, gardening, archery and black powder shooting that I throroughly enjoy.

Yes I already thought I saw you the other day:


You were looking quite intense!

[Panda39]

Wow Kwamina that is hilarious   

Did you draw that all by yourself?  I'm not too sure about the Vulcan eyebrows.

Panda39

[Kwamina]

Well no, but I did find it all by myself

The Vulcan brows are an indication of Wise... .well probably more rational mind but that's what is needed when wielding a bow and arrow! All expert archers have this expression

[Woolspinner2000]

LoL Parrot!    Oh that is way to funny! 

I won't ask how you even managed to find such a thing. Oh my goodness!

I hope I don't look quite that intense on the shooting range. But it certainly does require concentration to pull back that compound bow.

Panda, yes, pioneering skills are awesome! My D31 says I was born about a hundred years too late. Oh well. Speaking of canning, I grew up helping my mom can, and I've done it all these years, now passing on the [pioneer] skills to my daughter.

 
Wools the Pioneer Llama

[Pina colada]

Archery sounds really cool!  I remember, we had it in high school and I enjoyed it!  That is something for my bucket list!  De stressing is so important!

[Libra]

Taking a quiet evening walk, noticing the small things: the little flowers, the colors of the sunset, the insects, etc. and letting my mind wander.

Reading a good, all-absorbing fiction book.

I am also a beekeeper. It is an endless struggle to allow myself time to go tend to my bees, but once I am there, time seems to disappear.
It is the sole activity I have found so far that manages to push all other 'stuff' out of my mind. It is infinitesimally fascinating and relaxing.

Libra.

[Learning2Thrive]

I am also a beekeeper. It is an endless struggle to allow myself time to go tend to my bees, but once I am there, time seems to disappear.
It is the sole activity I have found so far that manages to push all other 'stuff' out of my mind. It is infinitesimally fascinating and relaxing.

Libra, that’s AWESOME!  

  L2T

[wakingfirst]

Great thread, thanks!  Yoga, swimming and sunlight for me.  Meditation.  Writing in my journal.  Lunch with a friend or a laugh with my incredibly patient husband.  I have a lot to be grateful for. 

[Pina colada]

Probably my favorite thing I time spent with my kids.  My ex husband and I are very good friends and do things with our adult kids all the time!  Just had one in town Saturday and we all went to dinner!  Nothing relaxes me more than spending time with my kids, their husbands, significant others!

[Woolspinner2000]

Pina Colada,

Add to your list spending time with grandchildren!  It's even more better than spending time with adult children which is awesome. Hard to imagine that it could be even better but for me it is. 

Wools

[Pina colada]

Woolspinner2000 my mom always said that and doted on and adored my kids!  I am excited to be a grandmother but I do think I will have to wait a few years!  I am fascinated by Beekeeper... .

[Libra]

Hmm... .I may have to change my name. Beekeeper sounds nice 

[Pina colada]

Libra the concept of beekeeping .  It is an interesting name however!