I have phone calls when she isnt home and somehow she knows what I say? who I text? Am I losing her mind? how is she doing this?
if she knows who you text, it could be spyware program installed on your phone.
It could also be depending on what network you are with, like my BPDx did, registered my phone online using my details then had online access to switch on various settings that would archive my texts, phone log history and sync stuff.
I had to ditch two smart phones and went to one of those retro 90s nokias. Its funny how she never once said "why did you get rid of your phone for that"? which would have been normal.
I found out the hard way, and it took me time, that my ex had absolutely no regard for the idea of intruding into my personal privacy however she could. I was open and honest with her to a huge degree but she then started to go even further. They can and do stalk, for the feelings of control and to take away their own paranoia (my ex always believed irrationally that her ex partners and myself were all going to cheat on her) when historically, all her r/s dissolved due to her being the one doing just that.
Im not very tech but id say at least, wipe your phone if not replace it but also think about changing your online stuff that she might have access to? things such as Gmail, or any cloud related backup software.
sorry you are going through this, I know how it feels.